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Name: Eyriana (Signed) · Date: 16/09/2008 07:15 pm · Chapter: Chapter 11 : Paybacks are…fun!
Brilliant! I mean, the pumpkin prank, yes, but more so her wonderful reaction to it. And I love all of her conversations with Snape – they’re very entertaining, and the ongoing bit where one asks two contradictory questions and the other simply says yes is just a great little detail. Wonderful job!

Blaire

Author's Response: Little code works and galnces are all they have, so they use them as often as they can, without anyone tumbling to the meaning.


Name: Eyriana (Signed) · Date: 16/09/2008 07:14 pm · Chapter: Chapter 10 : Draco’s Detention
Hahaha, that’s great! I love that she’s so unconventional – I’m sure Malfoy was expecting something much worse. Then again, it WAS bad for him – to be embarrassed like that. And for everyone else to benefit from it – brilliant :P Wonderful chapter, Holly – you’re very good.

Blaire

Author's Response: Yeah, bringing him down a peg or two in front of the others was worse than any 'punishment' she could have dished out. But did you notice that she didn't put up with his whining at the three Broomsticks, either? HE!HE!HE!


Name: Eyriana (Signed) · Date: 16/09/2008 07:13 pm · Chapter: Chapter 9 : Hogsmeade Saturday
Oh, a cliffhanger! :o I might have to make this quick, you make it so hard to stop and review before finding out what happens next :P A very nice chapter. I like Tut, it’s a great detail for the story to have, and it adds to and enhances Anna’s wonderful character. Great job!

Blaire

Author's Response: Tut is around and used a fair bit, glad you like him.


Name: Eyriana (Signed) · Date: 16/09/2008 03:48 am · Chapter: Chapter 8 : Juggling schedules
I love the tone of this story. Although there are many serious aspects - mainly the oncoming war and preparations for it, and also the loss of Anna's husband and her talking to his portrait and not having him in the flesh - in the story, you don't dwell on them in a sad way. You manage to make the story thorough, but light, and it's very refreshing to read. Wonderful job!

Blaire

Author's Response:

Wait until  you see how she talks to Lucius, at a most dangerous moment. "Oh, lighten up, Lucius!" 

HE!HE!HE!



Name: Eyriana (Signed) · Date: 16/09/2008 02:48 am · Chapter: Chapter 7 : Duck! Duck! Move!
I LOVE this! It makes me want to take the class, actually :P So interesting, the way you describe it, and Anna seems to be able to transition from Auror into teacher very well. I will never get tired of her wonderful dialogue, and the story is just so much fun to read. Wonderful job :)

Blaire

Author's Response:

Well, 'dear Delores' made sure they did NO practical DADA study in OoP, so I thought that Anna should make up for it; besides . .  the entire class are DA members.  All the little things she says and does and teaches them and hints at all, add up and come together at the final battle.  But there's a LOAD of stuff in between. . . like Lucius...dum . de . dum . dum . DA!

HE!HE!HE! 

Actually, you'll think I'm NEVER going to get to old Baldie Voldie, when suddenly he'll stick his non-existant konk into the picture. Stay tuned.

HE!HE!HE!



Name: Eyriana (Signed) · Date: 16/09/2008 01:41 am · Chapter: Chapter 6 : Welcome to my world
That's great - 24 hours in 6 chapters, hahaha. I can see why the story is so long - but that's great! I really like it! Again, what I love so much is the dialogue - mainly Anna's dialogue. Priceless. You're so good at writing her character - I know I will continue to enjoy it. And - oh boy, DA! And Hogsmeade! Can't wait. :D Lovely.

Blaire

Author's Response:

Ok, first 6 for the first 24hrs., 2 for the first week, 2 for Hogsmeade, 2 for Halloween, 2 for. . . well, you'll see,3 for Nov and Harry and Anna's 'talk', then 17 to cover Christmas and New years and the beginning of term, 9 for spring break and then the end of the story, kinda spread out over April, May and June. But it goes quick.  And I don't screw around with Quidditch matchs and stuff.  Glad you're liking it, so far.

I wrote this WAY back in '03, before HBP came out and had posted up into the Christmas section when HBP came out. I'd written thru Easter, but chucked all of that and rewrote it to include Draco and Cissa as I saw hope for his redemption in HBP and couldn't let him go to the Death Eaters like a lamb to slaughter.  You'll see that I used bits of HBP in my story but it and the second one ( 7th yr followup ) were complete before DH came out.  I didn't use the Horcrux bit as I thought it too complicated a plot device and had no idea how to use it in my story, especially since I don't kill off Albus, well not in the 6th year . . . hint, hint.

HE!HE!HE!



Name: Eyriana (Signed) · Date: 16/09/2008 12:41 am · Chapter: Chapter 5 : Secrets
Oh, I love getting to know Christopher! He's really a great character, even if it's not exactly him. I think I'm going to like him very much. And Anna just keeps getting better! Her dialogue is priceless. The whole scene between the two was just great. Good job!

Blaire

Author's Response: I liked writing the banter, too, and Christopher just adores Anna, even if he is just a figment of the real Christopher.


Name: Eyriana (Signed) · Date: 16/09/2008 12:27 am · Chapter: Chapter 4 : Why didn’t I see…?
Wow! I didn't expect it to already become a relationship. I love the crazy aspect of Anna, and her sense of humour is just wonderful; you have some great dialgue. I didn't notice the comma thing as much, either. I like this very much, Holly!

Blaire

Author's Response: I HATE angst, teenage or other wise, so I refused to have those two spend 18 or 20 chapters waltzing around their emotional booby traps . . . JUST GET ON WITH IT!  The REAL fun will be watching them HIDE the relationship FROM everybody!  Like Anna realized, it all suddenly made sense.


Name: Eyriana (Signed) · Date: 16/09/2008 12:12 am · Chapter: Chapter 3 : Do I Make Myself Clear?
Interesting! So this is how the prologue comes into play. I'm really liking this story! It's very entertaining and gripping, and I always want to continue. That's very good :)

Something I noticed is that you tend to use commas in excess. Some of them, especially in description after dialogue, aren't needed, such as here: 'Hermione whispered, wickedly" "Ron asked, with a snicker" Neither of those commas are needed. Just a little thing though - try to be careful with that, and you'll be fine. Great chapter!

Blaire

Author's Response:

Well, on another site, I was told to put those blasted commas in or have the chapter rejected! So that's why they are there.  Ignore them, 'casue if you think I'm going thru and taking them out, you have another think coming!HA!HA! Just kidding, as I do have a tendency to use Italics and commas to emphasize how the dialogue should be spoken or how the voice inflection would be used.  I tend to picture each scene as a movie scene and write as the acotrs would speak!  Weird!  SO, let's toddle on, shall we?

HE!HE!HE!



Name: Eyriana (Signed) · Date: 15/09/2008 09:57 pm · Chapter: Chapter 2 : Oh, by the way . . .
You write so... interestingly! That sounds odd, but what I mean is, you craft your words in such a way that no matter what it's about, you want to keep reading. What I'm talking of in particular in this chapter is the last paragraph. It's just so well-done that I want to go on immediately, even though in a moment I'm going grocery shopping. Excellently done!

Blaire

Author's Response:

Ah, yes, weel, get used to it, as I'm an absolute stinker when it comes to end of chapter 'cliffies'.

HE!HE!HE!



Name: Eyriana (Signed) · Date: 15/09/2008 09:43 pm · Chapter: Chapter 1 : Welcome to Hogwarts
Oh! You've surprised me. I guess I really didn't look losely at the story's information - I didn't know it went to the Trio's years. Anyway - you're very good! Something I noticed is that you write Dumbledore very well - so many people are miles away from writing him realistically, but you're doing a pretty good job. I like this very much! :)

Blaire

Author's Response:

Yeah, that sneaky old codger is fun to write, and so is Hagrid's dialogue AND the house-elves.

You'll see.

HE!HE!HE!



Name: Eyriana (Signed) · Date: 15/09/2008 09:25 pm · Chapter: PROLOGUE
This is very interesting, Holly! I like how quickly you bring the reader into the story; sometimes paragraphs of description really aren't necessary, especially in such a familiar setting. And the brief conversation with Severus and Anna was intriguing; makes me wonder, is she hiding something from her friends?

Anyway, a very good start! I can tell I'm going to like this story :) Good job, Holly!

Blaire

Author's Response:

No, the other Gryffindors are well aware of her friendship with Severus, however, you'll learn in later chapters what's tainting their goodbye, besides the obvious, i.e. Voldemort and the coming 1st war.

Glad you like it so far, but get comfortable, it's going to be a fun ride!

HE!HE!HE!



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