The interaction between the boys and Arthur was priceless. I adored his last statement, about being trampled by a buffalo! I have received many a bill where I think that would have been preferable! I also really enjoy the idea of Neville being a brilliant auror before leaving to go teach at Hogwarts. That really fits with my vision of how he'd have changed after the Battle. Once again, Harry is in the middle of a Ron/Hermione relationship issue. He's spent over half his life there, I think. Mabel's workshop is a fantastic sounding place. A little like James Bond's invention guy, Q. Great chapter!
Author's Response: Thank you! I definitely had a female version of Q (who resembles Luna Lovegood) in the back of my mind when writing about Mabel. More about her will be revealed in Chapter 3. I'm so glad you enjoyed it!
Chapter 2 treats the reader to some more high-quality Hermione nerves, Forge-like pranks and Arthurisms.
I found Hermione and Ginny a bit over-reacting, by the way. They know bloody well that their husbands are Aurors; this is a dangerous job without any doubt but this is they are good at, so in my opinion the women have to accept it. Ginny Crucioing Harry for simply doing his job is a wee bit beyond limits.
Loved the small subplot on Ginny and Harry losing their baby, it was very touching, very sad.
Who am I to criticise native English speakers :) yet, I have to make a small remark. Some of the comma's you're using might be unnecessary. Ex:
"Ron's ears colored, and he sank down to the stone step once more." I'm pretty sure no comma is needed here.
Absolutely brilliant, yet again. Please let me know when you update!
Author's Response: Thank you for the constructive criticism, I appreciate it! Commas are not my strong point, I'll take a look at them. :) I also appreciate your perspective on Hermione and Ginny's reaction to the previous mission going bad. I'll be sure to include more background on why they reacted so strongly. I have a whole back story planned in that area. Thanks again, your review will be very helpful to me going forward!
Amazing characterization of the Golden Quartet, right in the very first chapter. I felt as if I was reading Book 8: Harry Potter and the Woes of Family Life, written by JKR self. Simply hilarious.
I loved to see how closely you tried to stick to canon. In my opinion, one must write either "canon" or "fanon". Anything like "well, I try a bit of this, a bit of that and see what happens" is not my type of writing.
This one, I enjoyed right from the beginning. Simply bloody brilliant.
Author's Response: Thank you for your kind words! It's been quite a challenge to stay "within the lines." I'm glad it's working out so far.
"Unlike Luna Lovegood, Mabel Jenks was a full-time resident of Planet Earth." That line alone is priceless . . I just wish I'D thought of it!
Arthur, Arthur, Arthur . . what a well meaning chuckle-head . . . bless his heart.
Okay, off the left coast!
Author's Response: I love Arthur Weasley. I'd steal him from Molly if she wouldn't do a Bellatrix on me.
This is going to be a double edged story isn't it? The danger and seriouness of the missing wizards and all that entails opposite RON WEASLEY LOOSE IN CALIFORNIA!!!!!!!
Have you gone completely insane?!
Hope so,as that maens we're in for a GREAT story - as usual!
Author's Response: I'm really glad you like it! It's been great fun to write. Thank you as always for being such a faithful reader & reviewer. You're the best. :)
This was brilliant. I loved the way that Harry and Ron still interact in much the same way as they did in school. Hermione and Ron's relationship is still pretty much the same, too. He fouls up, she gets steamed, he's left confused. This is a really good beginning to your story. I am very interested to keep reading.
Author's Response: Thank you! I hoped I was hitting Ron and Hermione's dynamic just right, they're my favorite. I have some trouble with Harry and Ginny's adult relationship, but I hope to work through my problems in the writing process. I have often thought that Ron would be more popular than Harry at the Ministry, since he has such an easy way with people. I have a lot of fun planned for future chapters! Glad you liked it!
OMGosh! I'm so intrigued by this story already. I love that you've kept it canon, at first when I saw that Ron & Harry were going to Hollywood to see an actress it would be AU, but so far it's not, and that makes me so happy. I loved that you had Neville join them as an Auror, he certainly is capable of it. I loved the wager, and Hermione blurting out that she's pregnant, lol. That would help to explain some of the irrationality going on with her. I can't wait to see more of this story!
One thing, Percy isn't the next-oldest Weasley son, he's the third.
Author's Response: Whoops, how could I forget Fred and George? Thanks for pointing that out to me, ginwannabe, I'll fix it ASAP. I really appreciate that you took the time to review! I hope to have another chapter ready before too long.