Yes, I can imagine why you said in your note that this chapter was difficult to write. It IS hard to write chapters where nothing seems to happen, where nothing seems to be added to the plot, but, in fact, it IS there, it IS moving and developing.
I guess the information Sprout gave should be sufficient for a trained Auror to find Snape, after all, she has a name and an approximate location.
Good job here on writing some fine dialogues and a decent try on Hagrid's dialect. Also, I liked how you brought in that seed of doubt, that conflict of interests even between people wou're on the same side.
Amazing. I wonder when was the last time Severus Snape received so much love and caring from ANYBODY. If anything, this will bring him back to this world.
I will have to go back and read it from the beginning to understand when it had precisely happened - heck, I've been missing on this story for too long - but it seems Lily finally learned to trust Severus. And, this is the only way she and Harry can survive.
I honestly didn't expect to find that confusing moment in the story. Once friends for a lifetime, then separated by that thrice blasted word, that sudden moment of almost intimate closeness was a little odd. Until I recalled that they once were friends for a lifetime. As such, I applaud you for having included it in this chapter. Was a really heartwarming touch.
Do update soon! I loves this preciousss.
I'm really sorry that Dorcas got so little "screen time" in the books: a few brief mentionings and that's all. However, I would have loved to see her the way you portray her: strong and fearless.
Indeed, explanations have come due and finally everybody knows the truth about Lily and Harry's escape. Now, the chase starts: who gets to them first?
I loved this chapter; quite a few brilliantly carved sentences giving it the flair it deserves. You have a certain talent to immerse your readers into the scenery with your descriptive writing.
Goody-goody. Some top-notch Auror action here, and the Dursleys are safe.
An enjoyable part was Petunia's interaction with the "freaks", which, strangely, has been changing quite a few times, lastly being thankful for being saved and taken care of. This was a most challenging piece to write, I'm sure.
Finally, I loved the Sirius-Dorcas interaction, which led to some very poignant, lively dialogues. All in all, a very strong piece of writing. There's nothing wrong with some AU, by the way :D
Two half chapters, as different as can be, magnificently coming to full circle at the end.
A cold, bloodthirsty, cruel glance into the Death Eaters' lair. Fantastic descriptive talents you have.
Then, a mourning Lily Evans, torn apart by her double feelings towards her sister. There are times when hatred and jealousy wins, now it's time for a touch of sistely love.
Brilliant writing, as always. Bravo!
Whoa! Well, that's one way of dropping us firmly back into your story!
Now, it's a race to find Severus, Lily and Harry . . . ready . . .set . . . GO!
Glad to see it's still a WIP that ISN'T gathering dust ( like mine! )
I was always of a very high opinion about your amazing writings skills, yet, in this chapter you surpassed even yourself. I could go on ranbling for ages, but here everything's just perfect and in good proportions.
A well designed Dorcas Meadowes;we didn't know too much of her, as of yet. You made good use of your artistic freedom to put down a believable character.
Then, I loved your dialogues and descriptions as well. You even could surprise me with your Peeves-songs, I was like ROTFL. Especially, Hagrid's pun, which was a brilliant one.
Just like the whole chapter was brilliant and very well worth the wait. Unfortunately, I can't give you six stars, five will have to do,
Interestng look into Severus' room and it's contents.
What to do now? It must be absolutely KILLING Sirius to keep his big mouth shut. Bet James is getting a giggle out of THAT!
I KNOW I did a review of this chapter before, becasue I remember saying something about Petunia sneaking into the service at the end, but just noticed it isn't here!
Well, anyway, this was the chapter I was looking forward to reading, to see Albus and Sirius' reactions to the discovery that it was Peter in the coffin and not Lily.
The tricky bit will be finding Severus and Lily before Voldemort, and before he realizes they've been deceiving him and that Harry is alive.
And the Prewett brothers, now we know where the Weasley 'temper' comes from - Molly's side . . for sure!
I love that effortless affinity you're handling your original characters with.
Myra and her daughter could have just stepped off the pageso fany of the original books.They fit into this universe perfectly and are an entertaining read due to your perfect characterization.
I'm a little confused at to Harry being Severus' child instead of James. Where on Earth has Myra made such a conclusion from?
Otherwise a beautiful chapter, I truly enjoyed it.
Sometimes I just want to take people and shake them until their teeth rattle - and they get a little sense pounded into them!
Okay, Severus, this isn't the most advvantagious of situations but suck it up and play along! Lily is still alive and there WITH YOU!!!!!!
Jeez, I thought the kids had the whole agnst thing to themselves but old Severus is running a close second! GET A GRIP! And get up and get ahold of Albus and get a plan going and get rid of old Baldy Voldie and GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE!!!!!! WITH Lily! HINT! HINT!
(When a chapter gets me this upset, that means it's a GREAT chapter! )
Wow, that was some fight!
Sorry I've not been around to review but am trying to catch up this AM.
I loved the bravery that Posey showed and that Lily got the better of some of those DEs.
Now, lets' hope she's made it back to Wales in time to help Severus not bleed to death! ( of course she has, otherwise it'd be a short story! HA!HA! )
Well, you've been doing a helluva writing recently, expanding your universe with 3 fantastic chapters.
This is the chapter when ends are being tied together. Peter's deeds are uncovered and the hope rises that Lily and Harry still might be live. Wonderfully in-character Dumbledore and Sirius! Also loved the depictions of the Prewett brothers; it's clear Where Molly's temper comes from.
Two tiny remarks, rather questions:
- Hasn't Moody lost his eye later on, in another fight with the Death Eaters?
- The absence of the Weasleys can't be explained by the fact that Ginny's been born, she was born 11th August. Were the Weasleys simply afraid to come to the funeral?
And what a way to end the chapter with this cliffhanger! Lily, Disillusioned, visiting her own funeral? Bravo!
A journey which very easily can turn out to be the last one for our heroes. They are desperate not to allow it happen and make some very necessary measures.
It seems they will have to improvise on the spot if they want to survive this day and Severus' will have to keep up the facade before his fellow DE and Voldemort. They can't afford being unmasked.
Some very nicely carved diaogues in here, filling in on some previously untold events in Harry's first year. Voldy and Bella are marvellously portrayed to the tiniest details of their twisted, cruel minds.
Onwards to the next chapter, to see the Great Escape!
Oh no, my dear, you've made it totally yourself! I only gave some tiny ideas, the kudos is all yours. Still, I'm flattered....
It's a very, very intricate chapter. Severus and Lily had to act believably if they wanted to get away unharmed and well from the DE club meeting and you managed to display this atmosphere incredibly well. Also, I liked the small filler scenes; each of them adding something new to the whole picture.
I got all emotional at the scene when Lily remembered their memories togethe. "She would not let him die." Powerfully depicted emotions!
I can't wait to see what you come up next with. Never thought I'd fancy a Lily/Snape fic that much :)
S.P., my darling,
Don't EVER apologize for cliffies, they are the heart and soul of a good story . . . makes the readers want to ( have to ) come back for more.
This chapter was very descriptive and made you feel like you were watching the scene in the dining room from the protection of an 'Invisibility Cloak'.
That house-elf may be a ally in the future, I get the feeling, but with Bella as her mistress, that would be taking a BIG risk.
Very telling moment when Cissa reacted to the 'reason' for Harry's 'death' that Severus offered old Baldie Voldie. Her maternal instinct is evident, even this early, when it comes to Draco.
Looking forward to the next chapter.
I heartily agree with Severus about not taking Harry to Albus . . . too many eyes and ears at Hogwarts, too easy for someone to slip up and someone else find out too much!
I have to keep reminding myself that this AU has people in places they shouldn't be; Peter dead and Sirius out and about and NOT in Azkaban. An that means Frank and Alice and still functional Aurors, too.
Okay, I'm all caught up and ready for the next chapter, which looks to be a doozie!
"Oh boy, oh boy, this is gonna be fun!"
OMG! I must have not gotten this far over on the other site, as I DON'T remember Lily turning back into Peter. Well Nelly! The fondue is gonna hit the fan in the morning, isn't it? Then everyone will know that Lily AND Harry are alive and WITH Severus . . . . but WHERE????? (We, of course, know, but they don't . . sincker, snicker!)
I really like all of the possibilities that are out there . . just waiting to be used by you in this great little story!
P.S. I've seen a Costa Bower . . wonder if I could see a Therstral??? Hummm?!?! Bet I could.
Well, well, well, this is a fine kettle of fish, isn't it?
First Petunia couldn't care less that her sister's dead or her nephew's missing. ( and James doesn't even count, so I won't mention him )
Then Severus and Lily are at cross purposes, through such a long series of misunderstandings and missed opportunities that it's almost too sad to think about.
Can it get any worse . . . you betcha! And my guess is, it'll get a LOT worse before it gets better, because Voldemort is still out there, not 'vanished' like in 'the books'. But Sirius isn't headed to Askaban, either!
So, where do we go from here, boys and girls? Only time and the posting of the next chapter will tell!
Yeah, the time frame doesn't work, does it. If Lily was dead for hours, why hadn't James notified someone? It just doesn't add up and it'll be a bee buzzing in the back of Albus' brain, won't it?
Will they EVER figure it out?
Will Lily try to get away from Seveurs?
Will Sirius find them?
Stay tuned, boys and girls . . . the futher adventures of Lily and Severus will continue, right after this short break . . . .
Did you post this on another site, as it seems vaguely familiar, but I don't remember ever finishing it. ( I've read so much Fanfic, I'm getting cross-eyed! HA! HA! )
THAT SAID, this looks like it'll be one helluva story!
One sticky point for me though; if Frank can figure out the Severus killed 'Lily', why can't he see the body has been transfigured? Or is Severus' spell work too good for detection?
Will have to wait and see, huh?