Gluttony: Fanfiction
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Reviews For Forged by Blood

Name: Holly Ilex (Signed) · Date: 18/06/10 10:14 PM · Chapter: Chapter 15: Of Guilt

Hummmmm. blood bond, huh?  Literary license being what it is , , , not a bad idea.

So, as we leave the kids doing the nasty, let's hope Leticia finds an elder and finds the answer to her 'problem'.

Good chapter  . . .  more please . . .



Author's Response:

Sorry for the delay in the response, m'dear. I'm getting so unused to receiving reviews that this one must have skipped my attention :D

Before you ask, no, haven't stolen the idea from TB. It's been out quite a while, I just adapted it to my needs. Digging myself into deep sh$%&t with it, as now I'm forced to invent a ritual :D Or two, considering the last chapter of Shadowlands :D

Now, I'm officially stuck and need a long, long vacation to get at least some of my inspiration back.



Name: Holly Ilex (Signed) · Date: 24/05/10 9:30 AM · Chapter: Chapter 14: First Blood part 2

Baron? OH, wow, that's a neat idea . . . puts Neville ahead of the Malfoys, those posers. 

Yeah there were deaths, but it IS a war and at least they were quick . . .not like the torture old Baldie Voldie would do . . . or his DEs.  But a accurate reaction from each of the kids, too.

Fun bits with the girls and Ginny and Luna and Leticia.

Little boo-boos here and there, will get them to you via e-mail  . . probably Thurs, as I have the day off and can take the time . . .so you have been warned . . .

HE!HE!HE! 



Author's Response:

The Longbottoms ARE an ancient wizarding family, according to canon, so I took just the slightest artistic freedom of giving Neville the title he deserved.

Believe it or not, this was an extremely hard chapter to write and I suffered at least a week before I got it right, well, not completely, but at least publishable.

As for the fun bits, I just played around with the idea: what if those girls had been having a silent or not-so-silent crush on Harry at different times and how would they react in such a situation when they have a free go on him.  It was just a bit of fun.

of course, I couldn't miss out on the Ravenclaw in Luna, our expert in mystical and mythical creatures, and her first real encounter with a vampire. True Blood rubbing off, huh? And, I simply NEEDED to include a scene with the pendant. You know that it plays an important role in the story, especially in "Til Undeath Do Us Part".

Thanks for your continued support!



Name: Holly Ilex (Signed) · Date: 14/05/10 12:55 AM · Chapter: Chapter 13: First Blood, Part 1

Oh, it's getting exciting . . . post another chapter soon, as I really like this story . . . and I want to see some action . . .which seems to be coming soon!!!  I love Neville, the strong, silent, underestimated type . . and Luna, the witch who will be most likely to sneak up behind you and say BOO!

 

Okay, lots of minor boo-boos . . I think you were thinking faster than you were typing and your brain skipped a few bits, HE!HE!HE!:

latest glimpse into to Tom Riddle's mind    drop to

her rather malignant answer   I think you meant beligerent ( bad attitude )

Leticia calmly stood his glance  either use withstood or calmly returned

overprotective lot prescribing me     telling

Anybody a word again    . . . Anybody who says another word

and stay on your ass.”    park your ass right there!

And, as I already said, you can't pose yourself to danger.”    put yourself

Have you heard that, Harry?” Luna whispered     Did you hear that, Harry?

Neville mounted the few stairs      few steps   

Retracting himself from the doorway    Pulling back from the doorway

 



Author's Response:

I'm having a silent stand-off with the next chapter. Neither of us is giving in, so it might take a few days before we can reach a status quo.

There will be some action, as you already guessed. Neville and Luna were the only two coming with them to the DoM and answering their call when Dumbledork was killed, being their closest friends. The same this time.

Actually, my brain wasn't thinking AT ALL, so I'm surprised there are only so few boos :D:D:D Thanks a lot, your awesomeness!



Name: Holly Ilex (Signed) · Date: 30/03/10 1:59 PM · Chapter: Chapter 12: The Gamble Pays Off

Okay, you KNOW how I love this story and am following it even if I don't have time to review ( hence this late post )but this chapter was REALLY interesting . . . from a twist about the vampire involvement angle . . . hmmmm, and how will Leticia  react to the massacre?

Now, s/p/g/c nazi time, boys and girls: 

The harm - if any - had was already done  either use had OR was, not both.

went out as quick as it had appeared    quickly OR went out quick as it appeared

Bellatrix relaxed even more, what couldn't skip  personal preference - I'd use didn't - totally up to you

curiouos.  TYPO curious

the witch shivered as if in the foreclosure of the Cruciatus Curse. I think you're thinking foreplay, but that doesn't apply here so maybe  anticipated grip  

sharp stank of urine  TYPO  stink

royally piss off the Dork Lard.   HE!HE!HE! either that's the best TYPO I've ever seen or you have Harry voicing a really whacked out sense of humor, but considering he's in pain, I kinda lean toward TYPO.  Either way it's hysterical!

HE!HE!HE!



Author's Response:

As always, a deep bow of gratitude for the corrections. I disagree only with one of them. The Dork Lard was actually NOT a typo.

Leticia has actually nothing in common with ANY of the vampire covens. In one of the previous chapters she did pay a visit of courtesy to this coven, while doing a bit of sniffing around, but knowing how she hates her existence I doubt whether she'll shed tears for them.

I wrote this chapter mostly as a quick finger exercise on Voldy and Bella.

Thanks for sticking around with the story, without you this one - or any other story of mine, for that matter - would be next to nothing.



Name: SiriuslyPeeved (Signed) · Date: 16/02/10 11:13 AM · Chapter: Chapter 2: An Unwanted Guest at Grimmauld Place
Harry has an inventive way to box Kreacher into behaving himself, but will it work in the long run? (I'm a cruel reader in that I hope it doesn't, I'd like to see how they get out of that predicament!)

I'm mentally assembling a list of vampires' abilities in your AU -- healing powers from a vampire is something I haven't seen before. Looking forward to reading more :)

Author's Response:

While Harry managed to corner Kreacher for the time being, I'm not sure at all it will work on the long run. YAY for fantastic, cruel, nitpicky readers!!! :D Be warned, I can be a cruel writer! :D

I know my vamps are nothing of the Bram Stoker type; you have to forgive me for this tiny artistic freedom I was enjoying. Don't worry, she still can - and will - suck blood and she still can - and will - kill as a proper vampire should be doing.



Name: SiriuslyPeeved (Signed) · Date: 16/02/10 10:47 AM · Chapter: Chapter 1: Three and a Half Humans
Your version of the vampire mythology is intriguing, and I'm glad you brought Leticia back for a longer tale. I loved the moment where Leticia delivers her little warning to Hermione; that gave me a chill of premonition. I also hope to hear more about Leticia's parents: were they both vampires?

My only real difficulty with this chapter is that Harry and friends seem to accept Leticia's good intentions rather quickly. It seems to me that Hermione would have possibly kicked up a lot more fuss at being asked to trust Leticia. But, this is your story, so I'll happily see where it goes :)

I'll be reviewing a few chapters at a time, as time permits. Thanks for the excellent read.

Author's Response:

Thanks for dropping by and leaving your wonderful reviews at both archives.

I couldn't bear the thought that I had to kill Leticia off in that one-shot, so I simply HAD to write her own story. 

That part is really freaky; she can - and will - be dangerous as future chapters will tell. You are quite right with your criticism; having written the first chapter a long time ago, I just didn't feel like rewriting it again, which very well may happen when time allows.

Also there will be more of her background; I will be spending some quality time with her :D



Name: Holly Ilex (Signed) · Date: 31/01/10 10:23 PM · Chapter: Chapter 9: A Family Reunion... Well, Sort Of

Holy Mary, Mother of Pearl, how in the bloody h#ll did I miss this chapter!?!?!?

Anyway, good chat with Remus and REALLY good wand work from Hermione . . but just how did he manage to not hurt himself once he had his shoes untied???? makes quite the mind picture, doesn't it!

And the last bit  . . . that's a bit of a shocker for Harry, huh.

 Okay, now I'll skip ahead and get back into the right order . . . as soon as you post another one! HINT!HINT!

HE!HE!HE!  



Author's Response: Very simple. It's my fault. I have written and posted chapter 10 and 11, having forgotten about the half-written chapter 9 I had stored on my USB stick. I needed to complete 9 and somewhat rearrange 10 and 11 to get the storyline together again. With the Remus gym scene, well, a wandless Wingardium Leviosa could most probably do the trick, although I'd have paid a nice sum to be able to see Emma Watson in the same position :D We'll have more of the Harry/parents scenes, I promise.


Name: Holly Ilex (Signed) · Date: 17/01/10 9:47 PM · Chapter: Chapter 11: Fleur, What Are You Doing???

I laughed so hard, my grand-kids were wondering if I'd lost it completely!

Ginny was adorably sneaky and Harry was just as sneaky, hitting her with the "Obliviate" charm.  But she'll figure it out.

Great little fun chapter before the action starts . . if I know you!

ONWARD!

HE!HE!HE! 



Author's Response: You know me all to well :D The idea behind this chapter was simple, apart from Ginny wanting to give Harry THE birthday present. I've been wanting to write a Fleur/Harry story for quite some time now. I know, you must be declaring me an idiot now, but still... I WILL write that story one beautiful day. Until then, until I've found my inspiration, I thought I could vent through this chapter. The Memory charm was necessary. The less Ginny's up to speed, the less she's in danger. The dice are rolling now; expect more action soon. There will be a few good moments and a few painful ones as well, so stay tuned! And last, but not least, million thanks for everything, this story too wouldn't have come this far without you.


Name: Holly Ilex (Signed) · Date: 16/01/10 9:58 PM · Chapter: Chapter 10: Of Dogs and Tails

Well, that will teach me to not keep up with your posting new chapters . . . I jumped feet first right back into this story and WOW what a chapter.

The first half made a lot of sense, from the view of someone who'd already gone through one war ( Remus ) and you 'got' how Hermione, and by extension the other kids, were having to come to grips with the reality of it all.

The second half . . . BRILLIANT! I LOVED IT!!!!!!!

Okay, on to the 2nd chapter I have to read to catch up!

HE!HE!HE! 



Author's Response: This is what you get when not keeping up :D Now you will know :D I thought Remus would be the perfect person to lend a hand to the kids. Having fought in the first war and having managed to survive, his experience will be of paramount importance. The kids are ... well, just teenagers, and they should be doing other things than they are doing now. I supposed Hermione should be the one to voice their angst. The Slytherin hidden in me had demanded from me to come up with a sneaky plan. Also a perfect opportunity for the tails to trade places with the dogs and to act proactively instead of acting reactively. Assuming those two identities was not just a random thing as you will see in the coming chapters.


Name: Holly Ilex (Signed) · Date: 12/09/09 10:56 PM · Chapter: Chapter 8: Talks, long overdue

SIRIUS!

Well, how cool is that!

Hermione needs a timer when looking thru that book and then she'll be able to do her research.

2 typos:

We were children then, Reg abot 3-4 . . .about 3-4

three days ago, finaly he admitted  . . . . finally

Minor boo-boos, no big deal.

"Now, we wait."

HE!HE!HE!



Author's Response:

You little nitpicker, you :D Of course she aint' sittin' with no freakin' timer, righ'?

Another cliffie. well, not a real one, but it kind of foreshadows what the next chap will be about... once I get the inspiration to write it :D



Name: Holly Ilex (Signed) · Date: 12/09/09 10:40 PM · Chapter: Chapter 7: Voice from the Past

Well, that was a really good cliffie, but not too worrying, as I know you've posted the next chapter . . HA!HA!

Loved the exchanges between Hermione and the cobra-knob. . . . although I, personally, think the password should have been 'pureblood idiot', seeing as Sirius would have surely changed it a bit, knowing his mind set.

only 2 small boo-boos:

Leticia would be the perfect spy in their rows.  - in their midst . .is the phrase I think you might have been thinking of . .or maybe in their ranks.

Remus, Kingsley and Arthur have a look at it whenever possible. . . . . look at it as soon as possible  OR look at it soon.

Otherwise, great chapter and it offered us lots to look forward to in the coming chapters.

Sooooo . . . .ONWARD!

HE!HE!HE!



Author's Response:

Thanks for the de-booing :D

It was a funny little chapter, wasn't it? I thought a tiny bit of Black Dark magic was just in place. 

You're right about the password. On second thought, seeing that the house hadn't really accepter Sirius - setting his portrait aside and the like - there was a real chance he hadn't had any "access rights" to change the password (now it's the computer nerd speaking from me LOL)



Name: Holly Ilex (Signed) · Date: 19/08/09 2:17 AM · Chapter: Chapter 6: Enigma

COOL!

This was a really neat chapter.  I like the fact that Remus and Leticia could stay calm despite of their natural reaction to each other.



Author's Response:

Wow! Thanksies!

Remus and Leticia have more human in themselves than the most of their kin, therefore - and for the sake of their friends and common goal - they could stay human to each other. But, I HAD to include it. Too frequent watching of "Underworld", but what can I do? Kate Beckinsale is drop dead gorgeous in latex...



Name: Holly Ilex (Signed) · Date: 19/08/09 2:06 AM · Chapter: Chapter 5: Searching, Finding and Messaging

I laughed SO hard at that last paragraph.

More e-mail, I'm afraid, but improvements take time.

THis story is getting really good!

HE!HE!HE!



Author's Response:

Yeah, the message is a precious little gemstone, ain't it? Obvious enough, yetl confusing enough.

Damn those grammar bugs!


Name: Holly Ilex (Signed) · Date: 19/08/09 1:59 AM · Chapter: Chapter 4: Brothers And Sisters, Not Only In Arms

Fun chapter, and only a few boo-boos, two of which REALLY need to be fixed - will e-mail you later.

ANYHOW, now I'm really intrigued about why Harry would be so upset . .  guess I'd better continue reading and find out, huh?

HE!HE!HE!



Author's Response:

Well, here's one of my tiny little plot twists. From now on, no one can accuse me of bro-sis love, right? I thought it a feasible thing to have the Grangers adopt Harry.

Harry got simply overwhelmed, that's all!



Name: Holly Ilex (Signed) · Date: 11/08/09 2:54 PM · Chapter: Chapter 3: Sleeping Arrangements

Very nice.

I liked your bits about Dobby and how the trio have accepted Leicia. 

A few minor grammar/spelling boo-boos which I'll send to you for fixing, but haven't the time right now, lunch is almost over and it's buckity, buckity, back to work for little Ilex!

HE!HE!HE!



Author's Response:

Why thank you very much for your warm words!

I plan to give both Dobby and Leticia a major role, somewhat later into the year, and their unconditional allegiance will mean a lot!



Name: Holly Ilex (Signed) · Date: 07/08/09 10:51 PM · Chapter: Chapter 2: An Unwanted Guest at Grimmauld Place

So, Harry gets his revenge on Kreacher by not only not having him do his job but then he brings in Dobby and that will make Kreacher's new 'position' even more embarassing.  Adding insult to injury . . .  Good, the old coot deserves it!

Only one questionable sentence  . .

His friends were waiting in exasperation what he was going to do.   I think you might have meant in expectation of what he . .

Otherwise, great re-start of the story and I look forward to more!

"Come on, I don't bite."  Great line.

HE!HE!HE!



Author's Response:

Yeah, Harry HAD to do something with Kracher. I mean neither of them was happy with this part of Sirius' will, but Harry couldn't risk history repeating itself again.

Dobby was always faithful to Harry and always wanted to serve him. Now, he gets his chance and I'm sure both parties will gain from it.

Thanks for spotting that word. I always mix up those two, it's not the first time.

You WILL be getting moreas I'm putting up the third chapter for validation in five minutes and already busy writing the fourth.

Ain't it a good line? Just on the spot. I loved it myself, even if it's nothing else but pun.



Name: Holly Ilex (Signed) · Date: 05/04/09 12:37 AM · Chapter: Chapter 1: Three and a Half Humans

What a cool story!

With a nod to TWILIGHT, but I think I'm right in saying that's about all it will get; a nod . . as this is getiing right into Potter territory.

Good explaination of her history and now we'll see how she's going to help them in their quest.

And don't worry about being AU . . that's what fan fiction is all about!!!!!

ONWARD!

HE!HE!HE!



Author's Response:

Hi Holly, my dear,

Yes, it's only a nod to Twilight, and my desperate attempt to give some more screen time to my very own, and very much loved character, Leticia. I found it so distressing that I had to kill her off according to the conditions of the challenge I'd written "'Til Undeath Do Us Part" for, that I decided she deserved very much a second chance. We all deserve one, don't you think?

I'm liking AU more and more, by the minute :) So, this story WILL get AU as well, once I lay out the plot :)  'cause I gotta admit this first chapter was written in a kind of haze, without even thinking, what next. So now I have to cool down and think ;)

"I'll be back!" /quote by T-800/



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