Gluttony: Fanfiction
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Reviews For Shadowlands

Name: Holly Ilex (Signed) · Date: 31/05/10 9:48 PM · Chapter: Chapter 10: An Unexpected Meeting

Meanwhile, Ron is screwing around with f stops and ASA speeds . . . HE!HE!HE!

Okay, another twist, but think of the ceremony NOW! This should be good . . .if it works out the way Luna wants . . .  but the best laid plans of mice, men and loony witches/



Author's Response:

I simply HAD to write this. Just bought the BBC miniseries "Merlin" with Sam Neill on DVD and watched all series :D

We loves loony witches, don't we? Especially Luna, Morgana bless her :D



Name: Holly Ilex (Signed) · Date: 30/04/10 9:23 AM · Chapter: Chapter 9: Conflict

OOooooooo, this was good; it was very smart of Harry to get Ron's attention the way he did.

Now, if it just sinks thru that thick Weasley skull . . 'cause he may talk himself into "it was just a dream"  and NOT take Harry's advice . . .we'll see.

Boo-boo time: minor ones, tho . . .

she had to return to the world of the living if he didn't want to get stuck on the border   he? I think you meant she

hairy body, incomfortably wobbling       uncomfortably

blasted his broom into tiny particles; his consecutive fall from    resulting

strong enough so that his feet wouldn't listen and he couldn't escape.  function or move

your daughter and prove your wife that she        prove to your wife

Glad to see this story again, too, as it was one of my favorites of yours.

 



Author's Response:

We know of Ron's 'love' to everything that has more than four legs; Harry did choose the appropriate path to getting close to that thick Weasley skull...

I guess he made it perfectly clear and the message would be strong enough... after all, we all have dreams that change us and the way we are acting... We'll have to see.

Thank you for everything, Your Awesomeness!



Name: Holly Ilex (Signed) · Date: 09/02/10 3:47 PM · Chapter: Chapter 8: Moonlight
Having just read "Carrot cake", I now see where the idea for that one-shot came from.
And we're trundling along here in the "Shadowlands", so I'll keep and eye out for the next chapter.
And RON! . . . did he REALLY do that, and for such a stupid reason? AGAIN a cliffie . . .I'm so proud!
HE!HE!HE!

Author's Response: Oh yes, when writing this chapter I suddenly realized we knew nothing about Luna's mom, apart from the very scarce words she'd told Harry in OotP. Ron really did that, what and why? Next chapter! I guess our friendship is rubbing off on me, ain't it??? HE!HE!HE!


Name: SiriuslyPeeved (Signed) · Date: 03/01/10 10:32 AM · Chapter: Chapter 8: Moonlight
The second part of this chapter has the quality of a peaceful interlude. It is a bit jarring to change gears to the peace of Luna and Harry's conversation and remembrance of Luna's mother, though I loved the way you wrote the second part. I think that a little more discussion of what happened between Ron and Luna would be beneficial to the plot, perhaps it is coming along in a future chapter.

As an AU writer myself, I understand that sometimes you do have to portray a canon character in a vastly different way than JKR chose. Does Ron have any real idea what Luna is doing with the spirit Harry? As usual, a review with more questions than answers! Thanks for writing :)

Author's Response:

First things first. I understand that breaking the chapter in two with the two halves visibly not connected IS sometimes hard to follow. It all has a reason; what happened between Ron and Luna, as well as Harry's reaction to things will be described in the next chapter. The last paragraph forms an interlude to these events.

And no, Ron doesn't know. He knows about Luna's capabilities to visit the Shadowlands and he has been speaking with Harry through her. I know the REAL Luna and Harry wouldn't do such thing... things are not always in our control.

As usual, either something I see prompts me to chalk up a new chapter or writing a chapter gives me an idea to another story. Just like here, I simply HAD to devote some more space to Luna's mother, hence the appearance of "Carrot Cake and Goddesses".

See, this is the good thing in AU. I don't see myself writing book facts anymore. But what is canon? Only the facts JKR had put down in her books. Everything beside that might have just as well happened, even during those seven years.



Name: SiriuslyPeeved (Signed) · Date: 03/01/10 10:31 AM · Chapter: Chapter 7: A ghostly night
I am so glad you brought in Moaning Myrtle. She has the potential to be a story catalyst in so many places (since she is supernaturally nosy, and knew many of the older characters in life as well) I feel she is underused! The dialogue is quite lively, and I laughed at Harry's disbelief reaching "9 on the Richter scale".

All through this story, I have enjoyed your combination of various cultures' stories of the afterlife. You use your settings thoughtfully. I'm curious as to whether you will show consequences to staying in the Shadowlands, keeping up the forms of human life, vs. "moving on" through the Well. I wonder whether Harry's quest will be the decision to give up all his connections to the living world, (and the Shadowlands, for that matter) and move on to the next plan of existence. (You don't have to answer, I'm theorizing again!)

Author's Response:

Again a "character study" chapter. Myrtle was fun to see in GoF and fun to write here, that's for sure. On the whole, I'm developing as a writer throughout the story, together with the story and my characters and I do take some risks. Some pay off, some don't, but that's life.

I'm particularly glad you've found the dialogue OK; I always struggle writing dialogues and always end up rewriting them several times before I'm satisfied with the result (to a publishable extent, that is).

Strange, you're not my first reader who mentions that my story uses stories from different mythologies. As far as I'm aware I haven't read anything on this matter before, except the name of the Well, which I shamelessly lifted from Greek mythology because it sounded well :D

While I'm not willing to give away too much, I can safely tell you that Harry will NOT take the plunge into the Well of Nepenthe. He has strong incentives which will keep him on this side of the Well.

Again, thanks for your encouraging words and insightful review.



Name: SiriuslyPeeved (Signed) · Date: 03/01/10 10:31 AM · Chapter: Chapter 6: A motherly talk
Glad to catch up on your story! I liked the way you portrayed Lily in this chapter, and gave some back story of what she had done "beyond the veil" in the years since her death. I do like your vision of the afterlife, where they enjoy physical comforts and each other's presence but are heartbreakingly separated from the living. (except in Hermione and Luna's cases)

I loved the contrast between Lily and Tonks -- the picture of Lily cleaning up her hair with her wand made me smile. I am also glad that Lily objected to Harry's pursuing both his wife and Luna… from a dramatic standpoint, this is very believable. Mothers butt in to keep their children from making what they feel are serious mistakes, even if their assistance is not wanted.

A few small errors: "strucken" should be spelled "stricken," and there is one instance where "hair" is replaced by "air." Overall, this is a tight and concise chapter that holds together very well.

Author's Response:

I always appreciate your insightful and helpful reviews. Thanks a million for them and for your spell corrections; no matter how often I edit my stories, there's always an odd typo left.

You precisely caught my vision of the afterlife; this is exactly how I imagined it and how I would like to spend my afterlife :D

In general, I don't have a fully detailed plot for this story and I allow myself to be inspired by a particular event or devote a chapter to a character study. This chapter was all about Lily, a beautiful woman and a loving mother. You and I are one of the few writers here for whom her life didn't end (or didn't by all means end) on that fateful Halloween night :D She is the complete opposite of Tonks in all but one: they both are capable of self-sacrificing, endless love.



Name: Holly Ilex (Signed) · Date: 10/10/09 10:27 PM · Chapter: Chapter 7: A ghostly night

ANOTHER complication????? Great, that's all Harry needs!

And then Luna 'calls', in a snit/crying fit about something?

I thought life was complicated, but the afterlife is no picnic, either is it?

Nice cliffie, by the way. . . I should know.

HE!HE!HE!



Author's Response:

Sorry for the delay, Holly, haven't been here for quite a while.

It's a bit of a filler chapter, really, but I simply HAD to include Myrtle. She was priceless in GoF.

No, life and afterlife are both equally complicated. Only, in the afterlife, the complications are sometimes of a different kind. This time, the complications there have to do with RL, as you will see in the next chapter.

Thanks for your continued support!



Name: pookha (Signed) · Date: 14/09/09 9:12 PM · Chapter: Chapter 3: Dreamscape

I like Luna introducing Harry to the world of Morpheus.  I like also the way that you have Luna explaining to Harry that it can't be anything but a temporary tryst.  It's very true to her character.

You capture his pain on seeing Hermione very well, too.  I can picture the scene quite clearly, especially when she shivers at his ghostly touch.

Another very nicely written chapter.  I've said before that only a few times does it show that English is a second (or third...or more) language for you, and that still holds true.  Even when it does show, it's not distracting and that's very difficult to pull off.



Author's Response:

Even Luna loves Harry from the very depths of her heart - a Patronus change is not something happening too often - she knows her own place in the world and she knows Harry's place. I guess several of us had already faced this situation in our lives. While I didn't write this from personal experience, I didn't say I didn't have this or a similar experience when I was half as old as I'm now or even younger.

I think some of the paragraphs in this chapter are among my all-time favourites.

Here Iwant to express my sincere thanks for your compliments. In fact, I've had help, a lot of help, Holly being scrupulous as she is and helping me get rid of the punctuation/grammar bugs. Still, your words mean a lot to me. THANKS!



Name: pookha (Signed) · Date: 14/09/09 8:56 PM · Chapter: Chapter 2: At St. Mungo's

My favourite part of this is the orb that Luna put her attackers in.  I could totally see her doing something like that.  It rings so true for me.

 At first I was shocked by how quickly they jumped into the sack, but then I thought about it for a while.  Luna has always held an unrequited thing for Harry and he's at a place where his lover's not available.  So, I personally would have built it up more, but I don't think it's as outlandish as I first thought. 

I really like your choice of names for Luna's mum, "Aranrhod" is a great choice.

I like the way that the wizards still go about their day to day life in the Shadowlands. 

 



Author's Response:

Tough girl, this Luna really is. And underestimated. We have seen too many stereotypes of the "There's something about Mary"-ish Cameron Diaz type of girls. Don't mess with Luna, otherwise you might get hurt!

Yes, they hit the pillows quite fast, I agree with that. But, that connection between them had always been there.Yo're still right about the necessity to have built this up slower.

Aranrhod, well, I actually shamelessly lifted this name from another story I read about a year ago on another archive. My bad. I do like the sound of it though. I think it's of Welsh origin.



Name: pookha (Signed) · Date: 14/09/09 8:47 PM · Chapter: Chapter 1: A Meeting, an Attack and a Revelation

Well, I read this quite some time ago and thought I left a review, but I guess I didn't.  The Shadowlands is a very traditional sort of afterlife, but I'll bet a lot of Americans aren't familiar with it.  It's a lot like Hades in that everyone goes there, good or bad.  It looks like you will be going with that tradition and I like the change from a typical Heaven/Hell dichotomy.

I must admit that while I have no problem with Harry/Luna or even Harry/Hermione that the Ron/Luna ship grates on me a little.  But, that being said, I have confidence in how you can handle it and bring it about.  I do enjoy a good love triangle, even an undead one.

I really like your explanation of SIDS, and it makes me think a bit of the scene that I deleted from the epilogue of "The Dementor's First Kiss". 

I think you have an interesting start to a story here and I like the way you set it up.



Author's Response:

Hey Carl,

Good to see you in my tiny imperium :D

Frankly speaking, I have no knowledge whatsoever about the "traditional" Shadowlands. The whole thing has just randomly propped out of my mind. I pictured it to myself, as you probably know,as the world beyond the Veil in "Another Life, Another Chance". But you are right, it's more of a Hades, than Dante's Purgatory.

For me, the Luna-Harry-Hermione triangle was important. Ron came into the picture only because I couldn't imagine Luna being alone and didn't want to introduce an OC as her significant other. So came Ron in the picture.

I thought Luna's explanation of SIDS was really so typically Lunaish. It must have been one of her favourite mystical creatures, which - as we all know now - DO exist.

Thanks a million for your encouraging review. I hope you will enjoy the continuation of this story as well.



Name: Holly Ilex (Signed) · Date: 30/06/09 2:26 PM · Chapter: Chapter 6: A motherly talk

Great, now Haryy not only has the guilt of bing in love with and being loved by two women, he's got the worry of which one might off herself to be with him permanently.

Great - don't 'ya just love people who can hand out guilt trips like they were on sale?

HE!HE!HE!

ONWARD!



Author's Response: Come on, you know Lily Evans, don't you??? Even if she has a bad temper, you can't deny she has a point in what she'd said.


Name: Holly Ilex (Signed) · Date: 30/06/09 2:11 PM · Chapter: Chapter 5: Lily's Dream

I liked this chapter, too.  Good case study of how kids minds work and what they hear when the adults forget they are there or 'don't uderstand - they're too young'.

Padfoot. . . now there's a bit of a surprise.  Hummm, wonder what he's up to in Dreamscape ( no good is my bet - once a Marauder, always a Marauder. )

Okay, ONWARD!

HE!HE!HE!



Author's Response:

I had a fantastic object to model Lily Jr, my own daughter. She's of the same age.

Well, Padfoot just keeps company to Lily Jr, nothing else at this point.

Thanks for your reviews and see you at the next chapter!



Name: Holly Ilex (Signed) · Date: 30/06/09 1:58 PM · Chapter: Chapter 4: Hermione's Dream

Yeah, I've had dreams like that, but fortunately, not with anybody who is dead . . . That would be just TOO weird.

Cool chapter and good catch by Harry before he spilled the beans about Luna.

Saw only 4 little boo-boo - 2 places where you ended a sentence with a proposition and two miss used words -close but wrong context for the sentence. Will e-mail you about the particulars later, I'm gonna go ahead and read some more.

HE!HE!HE!

ONWARD!



Author's Response:

Well, in the Shadowlands nothing is TOO weird...

Harry HAD to save the situation and he did a good job.  Nevertheless, still more and more confusing details to come.

Thanks for sticking with my story and looking forward to your corrections!



Name: SiriuslyPeeved (Signed) · Date: 01/06/09 10:04 AM · Chapter: Chapter 3: Dreamscape
I really enjoyed this chapter, and Luna's explanations of how to enter the Dreamscape. I also liked the glimpse of Luna's deep feelings for Harry. (I'm curious what her relationship with Ron is like, on the living side?)

Author's Response:

This was (alongside chapter 5) my favourite chapter to write. It was really interesting to write the H/L bit here; the awkwardness of their blossoming feelings for each other vs their feelings for their significant others.

As for the R/L relationship, Luna mentioned at the end of chapter 2: she loves him and can't live without him, it's just what she feels for Harry is much, much deeper.

Thanks for your amazing review.

Zoltan


Name: SiriuslyPeeved (Signed) · Date: 01/06/09 9:58 AM · Chapter: Chapter 2: At St. Mungo's
It's a pity that the dead are subjected to working in the afterlife Ministry! ;) Is Colin Creevey Harry's assistant?

I like your characterization of Scrimgeour. I feel that Luna is a little bit out of character. It's not sleeping with beyond-the-veil Harry that I find a little OOC, but that Luna did so directly after having been attacked. Since you are writing a supernatural AU, I will put my quibbles aside and enjoy the story!

My only formatting suggestion is that you consider using the HTML tag for a horizontal rule, rather than the row of asterisks. Thanks for putting up with my nitpicky comments ;)

Author's Response:

Hi SP,

Thanks for dropping by! Please do NOT put those quibbles aside and let your nitpicky side fully take over, if I might ask; that's what makes us all better writers! Even if it's a supernatural story, things should be said.

Life in the Shadowlands is not much different from the life as we know it, so why not work? What's good about sitting on one's lazy arse for eternity? It's Colin Creevey, indeed.

I loved writing Scrimgeour here. Luna may seem odd and OOC but when is she not? LOL

I have made a note on your formatting suggestion; it will work better, you're absolutely right.

Bye for now,

Zoltan



Name: SpringTime (Signed) · Date: 20/05/09 11:58 AM · Chapter: Chapter 5: Lily's Dream
I was a bit confused how she can already sense being called a bastard when she is only five months old? I know sheis older in the dream... and it is dream, just bringing the point out.
I like how Harry reminds himself that he needs to talk to Hermione about her talking to strangers, it was funny and honest all at once. Quite an interesting tale that you have on your hands... I would love to know how Hermione and Harry got together, I know this AU, but since you have stuck to canon so far in the history, just think it would be cool to know.

Author's Response:

There are all valid questions you're asking. They will be dealt with as time goes by.

Well, Lily's dreaming of being older, she senses she's "different" and she wants to be a powerful witch just like her Mum is. I guess every child wants that, right?

Actually, now that I think about it, I've read somewhere a theory that infants have a means of communication grown-ups neither have nor understand. maybe this is it? On the other hand, just like with my 3-year old daughter, someone says a word, and a month later she would come up to me and ask: Daddy, what does XY mean?Lily here is pretty much modelled after my Sophie.

As it has been mentioned earlier, along with "action" this story has a much higher "emotion" percentage than my other stories have. All simple, pure emotios, which, together our personalities, form our beings, our souls.

Thanks for your wonderful reviews, 5 points added to the Thon! :)

Success and take care,

Zoltan



Name: SpringTime (Signed) · Date: 20/05/09 11:33 AM · Chapter: Chapter 4: Hermione's Dream
What a sweet dream, and a nice little lullaby. I would love to hear more about how Harry feels about his time with Luna compared to that with Hermione, maybe show how he is torn, otherwise it kind of seems as if he doesnt care that he is in essence sleeping with two women in one night.

Author's Response:

Yeah, it's hard to imagine Harry being that womanizer, isn't it? It's the circumstances that overwhelmed him. First Luna's confession, then the new opportunities that spell opened up for him. He wants to belong and he's really torn. As I said, more of in chapter six and seven.

It's a tearful dream, at least I had tears in my eyes while writing. I simply love that song! It's on Youtube, by the way.I even learned how to play it on the guitar.

Thanks for your wonderful reviews!

Zoltan



Name: SpringTime (Signed) · Date: 20/05/09 11:21 AM · Chapter: Chapter 3: Dreamscape
That is a really cool idea, the way you have them going into dreams like that. I am glad that you have begun to show Harry's guilt at what he is doing.
I like the simple moments that you have here, Harry just sitting next to Hermione... things like that really let the reader in on the story and feelings of the characters

Author's Response:

It's all about emotions in those simple moments, this story. Harry's also a human - well, not now, technically - and he's also bound to fail, to make mistakes. More of it to come in chapter six.

I'm glad this story prompts for thinking, for reader interaction. That was one of the main points.

 



Name: SpringTime (Signed) · Date: 20/05/09 11:10 AM · Chapter: Chapter 2: At St. Mungo's
Well, there you go! :) I am sad that she is technically cheating on Ron, another dimension or no... and am a bit surprised that Harry is so willing to be with his best friends wife and what about how he feels about Hermione... But the idea of how the shadowlands works is really interesting.

Author's Response:

Hello again and thanks for dropping by for the next chapters.

Physically, yes, they are cheating on their significant others. I guess it's mostly due to the hidden, long suppressed emotions which had suddenly emerged on the surface after Luna's confession. They had many things on common, both freaks, outcasts, orphans. There was a time when Luna was the only person capable of understanding Harry. Also, they had been together in the DA and in dangerous adventures and ... well ... anything could happen.

Yeah, you're right, the Shadowlands is dark, creepy and fascinating.

Thanks again, I'off to answer your next review :)



Name: SpringTime (Signed) · Date: 19/05/09 11:20 PM · Chapter: Chapter 1: A Meeting, an Attack and a Revelation
I know you asked me to review on HPFF, i hope it is okay that I did so on here instead as the review a thon is on. I have to admit that though I am not a huge Harry/Hermione fan and even less a Luna/Ron or Luna/Harry fan you definiitely incited a teary response when you had Harry looking over Hermione with Lily.
It was beautifully done, and I really enjoyed it. Very interesting beginning, and I really wonder what he would do even if he could come back, now that Luna has confessed her love.

Author's Response:

Dear SpringTime,

Of course I have nothing against being reviewed on GF. Good luck with Review-a-thon by the way, another friend of mine was complaining that she was desperately trying to catch up with you to no avail.

I am immensely glad you've enjoyed the first chapter. It's my favourite story, as of now, among all my writings and the easiest so far to write. 12K words in one day. I never thought I'd be capable of doing this, but yes, I wrote 5 chapters in a row. The easiest part was writing Luna. Bless her soul, she's such a thankful fanfic material.

Yes, there will be sentiments and dilemmas, and much, much more unexpected things. I'm trying to write a believable universe, with the theory of the three parallel worlds and I spend much effort on it. I'm glad these efforts are paying off.

Thank you for your visit and if you don't mind, I will re-request again when you have a free slot.

Take care,

 Zoltan



Name: SiriuslyPeeved (Signed) · Date: 27/04/09 7:42 PM · Chapter: Chapter 1: A Meeting, an Attack and a Revelation
I am really getting to love your magical-realism / anime-style take on the Potterverse. I had tears in my eyes reading about Luna's description of baby Lily's dream. It makes complete sense to have Luna be the intermediary between the real world and the spirit world of the "Shadowlands." The unrequited love angle also works very well.

You have some fun little character touches in this chapter. I laughed at Tonks' and Remus' beyond-the-veil bickering,

(Note from my own experience, neither of my babies ever went more than 2 1/2 hours between feedings! ;) Dear Hermione doesn't have it as bad as she thinks she does! ;) )

Author's Response:

So, you've found me :)

Of course it made sense that you'd already read the prequel, so you know - or at least think you know - what had happened to Harry :)

I need to admit this was the very first fanfic I had been writing purely for my personal satisfaction and I've been having immense pleasure while writing. Never ever in my life had I managed to write 12k words in one day :)

Well, this fic will be all about Luna. Even though it's Harry all around, Luna will play a very important part. The more I was writing of her, the more I got to like her. She is a wonderful and underexploited person, uniting the Ravenclaw wit, the Hufflepuff loyalty and the Gryffindor bravery in one fragile girl.

Her "abilities", mentioned as "oddities" in the books but never further expanded, exploited or even explained, just come handy for the sake of this particular story.

There are quite a few things I'm playing with in parallel, as you have seen including "Shadow-walking" and "Dream-walking" which comes in chapter 3, as well as the unrequited love angle. There will be a cathartic resolution to the latter, but I'm not giving anything away yet ... LOL

There will be more of everything; love, pain, friendship, lots of dialogs, lots of Luna *** loves Luna *** Just keep tuned as my magically real anime Potterverse unfolds :)

Little Lily is here around 4 months old and from my (well, my wife's) experience, feedings were coming with intervals of 3-4 hours.

Thanks for a marvellous review and see you again at the next chappies!

Zoltan


Name: Holly Ilex (Signed) · Date: 24/04/09 2:28 PM · Chapter: Chapter 3: Dreamscape

COOL!

That's it, no boo-boo correction, no comments, just my first gut reaction to this VERY interesting chapter . . .  

COOL!



Author's Response:

Ohhh... no grammar/punctuation/canon nazi stuff this time?

I wanted to explore different emotions: some humour (headless man, manless head), some Harry seeing Hermy and Lily again. But, I especially loved writing Luna's part in this one, describing her behaviour, her love to Harry, her absolute selflessness. Even her being so non-canon-compliant "horniness".

Wait until you read chapter 4....titled Hermione's Dream...



Name: Holly Ilex (Signed) · Date: 24/04/09 2:18 PM · Chapter: Chapter 2: At St. Mungo's

OH my goodness, what lovely lemons we have here! You tricky little devil, hiding that sensetive, sensous side and then springing it on us . . . a bit like Luna sprang on Harry! HA!HA!HA!

Why was Luna attacked?  That is the real question, though, isn't it?  NOW what's going on?  Well, I'll just have to read on, I suppose, and satisfy my curiosity.

Okay, you said to let you know if I caught any boo-boos, so here's today's list: 

sips from the hit drink,  ( I think you meant HOT ) 

I entered the cabinet of the Minister  ( this one just made me laugh as cabinet is a European word, we American's would have said OFFICE - as  cabinet is a strorage unit - like kitchen cabinets - maybe you say cupboard - anyway, don't change that, I just thought it was good for a giggle on my part.)

 Mr. Moody and Mr. Lupin are of the same meaning.  (OPINION, maybe, instead of meaning?)

causing the room expanding in size, and the bed turning ( the room TO EXPAND and the bed TO TURN into a king-size one. . . verb tense )

  with a gracious movement   GRACEFUL

 

That's all, just a couple of minor ones.  I wish I spoke as many languages as you do and had such problems with translations, so don't think I'm being critical, just sort of busybody helpful -HE!HE!HE!

Okay on to the next chapter!



Author's Response:

Dear Holly,

Thanks for your magnificent review. You are my fav reviewer, you know that? 

Why lemons, for Christ's sake? Lemons are sour...they are sweet, aren't they? Well, first of all, they are AU, then sweet... But, I think, all fanfic is AU.

Why Luna was attacked, it doesn't matter with regards to the plotline of this story. I needed a place to get together several of the main characters and I had a choice between somoene's birthday, Hogwarts, of St. Mungo's. I found this a bit more exciting, after all, the careful readers - like you - are starting asking questions. Also, it gave me a wonderful chance to describe a bit more of Harry's new life, career and Scrimgeour.

Thanks for the boo-boo-vary reading, they are already corrected. Personally I'm pleasantly surprised that there were so few boo-boos in this chappie.

One remark. I do not translate from Hungarian. I try to think English. That explains the boo-boos.

Reading on must you surely, young Jedi.



Name: Holly Ilex (Signed) · Date: 12/04/09 8:12 PM · Chapter: Chapter 1: A Meeting, an Attack and a Revelation

Wrackspurts! of course!  Why hadn't we thought of them YEARS ago!  Only Luna, bless her heart, would have put two and two together and gotten 22. HE!HE!HE!

This looks to necome a REALLY interesting story, So I'll keep coming back for more.

Oh, 2 teeny, tiney hiccups:

"screeching on a glad surface," did you mean hard surface?

and

 "she whispers as he touches my face with " I KNOW you meant she.

Otherwise, just fine.

ONWARD!



Author's Response:

Holly dear,

I guess I must have a Wrackspurt attack when I penned this story down LOL, it's so much AU that even I managed to scare the hell out of myself :)

Well, Luna is ... Luna, but that's the exact reason why she's so adorable. She is still underestimated, and not getting even the 10% of the "screen time" she'd deserve. I'll try to change this, as she ...PSSSTTTT...don't tell anyone!...will have a major role in this story. You will be doing wisely by checking back regularly.

Thanks for the corrections, the story is already updated.

TO BE CONTINUED!

Zoltan 



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