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Name: datbenik513 (Signed) · Date: 08/02/11 10:56 PM · Chapter: Redux

So, I don't even know where to start. I'm royally puzzled and overwhelmed. I have already read this story, so upon second reading I already knew what I should expect, yet it's something one should comment on lightly.

I've already read Dust, so I recognize several pieces of the jigsaw puzzle. Darn you, I will be having sleepless nights until I read the whole bunch so that I can figure things out! Way to draw your uncautios reader into your Potterverse!!!

While I generally don't particularly care for canon, I can see where this one would fit in. And, for one, it doesn't even seem awkward. Albus sorted into Slytherin - James teased him enough in the Crapilogue :D

Nineteen years is long enough for the two families to get rid of at least the rough edges in their enmosity and treat each other with some civilized respect. Of course, the events in Dust bound them close, and, while no love has been lost between them, they - except Ron - somewhat warmed up to each other.

On to the story itself. In the beginning I did feel myself thirty years younger, when I was of the same age as your little heroes. You effortlessly put yourself in their shoes, just like a few sentences later switched over to an amazing fighting scene.

Those continuously present cross-references to the past - future? - events just spiked up the atmosphere, creating that healthy sort of anticipation that keeps your reader at the edge of his seat. 

I have one remark here. Maybe I just skipped things over, but to me Harry & Co. didn't seem too much upset about one of their children being seriously injured, as a matter of fact, almost killed. Not like Draco, who was very decisive about his intentions of making an end to all this, in every which possible reality. That moment, his leaving to pursue the attackers and his arrival back after his successful mission made a fantastic framework to the main thought behind this story.

I never liked big, noisy companies, so I do understand Scorpius being royally frightened by all that jazz at the Burrow. That simple, human gesture, Arthur's short speech and Molly's trademark sweater, however, warmed my - and his - heart. One cannot imagine himself a better Christmas, what with the good news about his Mum's good progresses, the lurking danger finally eliminated and - I would have never thought I would say that - Scorpius obtaining a second family that night. For a welcome change, even Ron behaved as a human being, although, being an Auror, he'd taken a huge risk. But it was for the greater good, right?

I'm thoroughly overwhelmed; I think I've just read one of the most influential stories here @ GF. No further comments. Just effing brilliant. Wow.



Author's Response:

Wow, thanks for that glowing review!

I don’t know that it’s such an influential piece of work here on GF, but thanks for that compliment, nonetheless!

Granted, if you haven’t read the Reality is Bleeding novella, you won’t know what the boys are talking about here in regards to knowing that the train might be attacked. Being the sequel to Dust, that was when they found out what had happened in their aborted future. There’s nothing like time travel to really give you a headache and plot-holes!

Then again, you could just be wiped out of existence, like Dad, He's My Best Friend when the Timeline is pulled out from under you!

I can understand how your concerns of Harry and Hermione's lack of reaction about their children being involved in an attack are not addressed here, but something had to be left out to keep the length down. I certainly didn’t want to do it in two chapters.

The main focus is Draco’s reaction, though, as well as Scorpius’ POV. I’m glad that you felt that, as the reader, you could really feel how things were from his and the other children’s POV’s. Your review seems to confirm that I was able to capture what I set out to – Scorpy being accepted by Potters & Weasleys, despite the fact that he’s a Malfoy.

Again, thanks for the review.

 

 



Name: Kreacher (Signed) · Date: 29/11/10 4:20 PM · Chapter: Redux

Good rewrite. I like the original better, of course. :)

One thing I don't like: I could accept ASP and Sting, But Aspie?? Ewe! :(

Thanks for leaving intact the best mother/son conversation ever:

"I can't imagine you and Dad being gone at Christmastime," James mumbled. "Mum?"

"Hmmm?"

"What about Christmas Eve? What if Mr. Malfoy isn't back before the party?" James asked.

"Then Scorpius will go with us, and he'll be treated just like one of our own," Ginny promised him.

"Uhmmm, you did tell Grandma Molly this, didn't you?" James asked.

Ginny blinked. "Oh, dear," she muttered, as she went to the Floo.

Best two lines! ^ :-)

Now get busy on the other story before I sic Aspie on you. :-D



Author's Response:

Thanks. I knew it had to be you when I saw the email come in! I figured I didn't want to muck it up too much, just add the new Slytherin characters in the train car and throw in some hints that the boy might know an attack was coming. That, I tried to seam in some NM1/2 stuff like Romulus being a grown dog now. Glad you've stayed with me; I guess the other 6 readers thought it was awful? Again, thanks. Sorry to say, but don't look for a NM2 update anytime soon.



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