I'm a 34 year old mother of 4 daughters, ages 14 to 2. I live in Texas and teach 3rd grade. I once wrote so much I had notebooks stacked in my closet. Now, not so much. I am trying to get my old creativity back, slowly but surely.
Merry Christmas Jessi :) Fabulous banner by Blue_Suede_Shoes at SAYS.
The night of Christmas Eve, Harry is called into his sons room to tell them a story before bed. Wanting to hear something about Christmas, Harry tells them a tale unlike any other and remembers an old friend.
This was absolutely beautiful. What a tribute to poor Dobby, to think that he would be the elf to save Christmas. He was such a pure and selfless little soul. I think you did a great job in this, and having James be the one to do the socks to help his Dad feel better was just so sweet. This is a great piece of writing.
^^ Much thanks to Jessi_Rose for the beautiful banner *huggles*
Hermione laments the loss of a loved one.
For a first time fic writer, you write with great emotional depth and poise! I am amazed that it took prodding to convince you to do this! Hermione's gripping grief and sadness was very real, and you left a very definite picture of the scene in the readers' minds. Nicely done.
How terribly sad! All three? But I guess that is the only way they would want it, for it to be all of them. The others couldn't go on with a member of the trio missing. They would never be whole. I love the broom rides and the imagery in that section. Hermione never did care for flying. This was lovely.
How heart wrenching. Poor Andromeda. No one ever thinks that she is older, sadder, more exhausted, more full of grief, and still expected to raise a child that reminds her of all she's lost. You captured that desperate love for Teddy, and contrasted it with her deep desire to be free of the constant reminders of what is gone. Her fear of failure is palpable. This is done really well.
This is an excellent look into the relationship between Lily and Severus. You create such a vivid picture in your reader's mind. The emotions are so well done here. Great story.
This was really funny! I was sorry to see that Ron still had financial issues at this point. I hope that he figures that out soon, for his and Hermione's own good. I love how Rita worked her evil again on an unsuspecting victim. It was extremely naive of Ron to fall for it. His pride wouldn't let him take a loan from Harry, but he should've known better than to go to Rita. Good job.
Luna has always been underestimated and misunderstood, I feel. She is a remarkable strong young woman, and she fears very little this world can dish out. She also remains extremely loyal to her friends. Your depiction of her is very good. I love that you kept that quirky side to her alive and kicking, even in the face of torture and starvation. Well done.
This is very intriguing. I love the style of it. You can feel the internal battle raging inside of Sirius. He longs to be loved and to drown himself in Lily, but he refuses to hurt his brother in the process. Very well written and beautifully sad.
Moving on with your life after a loved one has past is hard, trying to live your life and remembering your loved one, all the time, is harder. Ginny fights a battle within herself to keep a promise to Harry while trying to move on with her life. Her promise is holding her back, yet she doesn't want to let Harry down. Will she forever stay trapped somewhere between the past and her future, or will she say goodbye to Harry once and for all? For Jessi_Rose, as she wanted to read stories that would make her cry.
How very sad. I was really relieved that JK didn't really kill Harry. I think Harry longed for someone to holdhim dear in their hearts, to remember the sacrifices he made for the good of all, and for Ginny to know she was loved so intensely. I don't think it was a promise meant to keep her living in the past, and to steal her future from her. Those that survive have that guilt, though, and she clung to Harry's promise and the pain just to remind herself that he was gone and she had to live without him. This was really well written and beautifully heart wrenching. You can see the clouds parting for Ginny in the end. Well done.
Thank you :)
And yes, Ginny was the one who had to learn how to let go and move on. When I wrote this, it wasn't long after HBP. So I also saw Giny as the kind of person who'd wait forever and a day, just to be with Harry. But taking him away from her, in this story, the way that I did, made Ginny hold on to him too tightly. To her, there was no 'moving on', but then she begins to understand...but most importantly, she understands his promise. She can love him and remember what they had AND move on with her life :)
What an interesting little gargoyle. He takes shiny things, but not Draco's? Sounds like a pain for everyone else. I like the beginning of this story, it gives Blaise and Hermione a mission together. I did think that it might be a little harder for her to feel comfortable with anyone that was connected to the Malfoys, but Blaise was never involved in any of the things that happened at the manor during DH. Only one little CC- the word you're looking for is 'wandered', not wondered in the beginning. I really like this story. It will be interesting to see where it goes.
I absolutely adored the reunion of the Marauders. You said you had not written in Second Person POV before, but you pull it off quite well. I almost feel sorry for Peter, having to exist alone with the guilt for eternity, separated from the people who could have loved him. This is quite a lovely story.
Author's Response: I actually feel a bit sorry for Peter too, but then I think that that was the consequence of turning his back on those who would never had done so against him =/ Thank you, for your lovely support! I'm glad you thought that I pulled off the POV nicely and that you liked this fic!
That last line is so good. I've often thought about that, how everyone lost something in the Battle that would prevent them from being totally happy in the end. If they won, but still didn't allow themselves the freedom and joy that came with the victory, what was the point? I think that you captured that beautifully. And the imagery and symbolism of the carousel was lovely. This is a wonderful little story. Well done.
Oh, to have my man say this to me! Ron somehow got a clue after being married to Hermione for 20 years. Maybe she rubbed off on him? You know, being together that long can do that to a couple. This was wonderful, thanks!
This is so sweet, and it could have come from the pages of DH. You have a way of descriptive writing that gives your reader a mental image of your story. I can see the looks on both Ron and Hermione's faces as they come so close to the highly anticipated end of that conversation, only to be interrupted by the oblivious Harry. Lovely.
Author's Response: Thank you so much. I do try to paint a picture with the words, so that you think I did that makes me very happy!
What an interesting turn of events! Charlie is tough stuff when he's fighting for someone he cares about. I love how the Welcome Witch ( who really doesn't fit that description much, does she?) had to back down and allow him to bring Emilia in. I cannot wait to find out what happens next!
Author's Response: Charlie gets passionate about the things that he wants.. just like he'll fight for the dragons, he's ready to fight for Emilia now. I just pretty much took what I remembered about the Welcome Witch from the book (yeah.. she doesn't fit her name too well.. haha). Thanks for the review!
Well, finally! Yay for Charlie and Emilia. I always thought it was so unfair that JK left Charlie single. Now he's found something to rival his passion for his job in Emiia. Hermione to the rescue, I hope! When in doubt, ask her. She's bound to know something. Great chapter.
Author's Response: I know.. I absolutely hated that JKR left Charlie single. I didn't find out until after I already started this story and that brought a bit of a dilemna. I wasn't sure if I should follow this to canon or not and I'm still not revealing what I've decided. Thanks so much for continuing to read this and thanks for the great review!
Bezoars to the rescue again! I love the different approaches people have to healing Emilia. Hermione is downright scary in her reality of the situation. Charlie will try anything that might help. The healer wants time to analyze everything into oblivion before acting. I feel like yelling "somebody do something!" And then, of course, Charlie does. This is an exciting ending to the chapter. Really good.
Author's Response: It was really fun thinking of the different possible ways that Emilia could be healed and figuring who would suggest what. I have some crazy ideas that will be brought up later too, which I hope make sense. I do hope that my ideas seem realistic enough since I don't really know much about medicine. Hermione is being really annoying here.. not too helpful to Emilia. But Charlie will help. Well.. maybe. Hopefully he'll help. :)
Bezoar to the rescue again! Thank goodness someone was paying attention in potions class. Hermione tended to get too focused on the solution here, and not pay enough attention to the fact that this is a human's life. She's all about the information and solutions, not a people person. Lucky Emilia has Charlie watching out for her. Great chapter!
Author's Response: Yeah, Charlie is doing everything he can think of to help Emilia out here. Again, Hermione is the one to doubt things, but we'll just have to see what happesn. She does get a bit annoying, but at least Charlie's there to keep her away from Emilia. Thanks for the review!
Very interesting! Draco seeking sanctuary in a Muggle church is sheer brilliance. I cannot wait to see what comes of that. I have always wondered about Lily's family and what happened to her parents. Also, what could have broken the relationship between her and Petunia so deeply that it ended their sisterhood? I am very excited to see what happens next.
Author's Response: Thanks so much. I wasn't sure how to start this story but I wanted the first scene to concentrate on someone other than Harry. The idea of the Muggle church and the concept of sanctuary just came to me suddenly and then I realised there and then that this story was going to turn up pretty AU, even if I wrote the first 14 chapters before DH. Petunia well, I always thought the jealousy of her sister was an important factor. You will find out more about her later on.
Ah, now I see the introduction of Muggle religion as a force to be studied and questioned. I loved the idea that muggles either approach it on pure faith, and wouldn't be able to give fact about it, or scientifically and dismiss it altogether. muggle-borns believe it all to be their magic that powers it. Where on earth will they get good information about this? I think having Snape come to Horace Slughorn was a stroke of brilliance. Slughorn is a soul in need of answers himself, although he may not know it. The letter from Hermione is quite intriguing. Just like JK, when you need to give information to a character, leave it up to Hermione. I know you said you could handle CC, but hon, I just don't have any for this chapter. I really enjoyed it! Great job!
I love how Harry is starting to feel more like an equal to Molly and Remus, calling them by their first names. He is mature, whether they realize it or not. The frustration in him is just so palpable. Ginny's reaction is very real. Why the hell should she have to go without him just because of some stupid noble purpose? She's never been one to mince words, has she? The 'golden orphan' was priceless. Also, I love that you have Harry thinking naughty thoughts at the beginning. He is 16, after all, and that takes up at least half of their brains at that age. For the rest of their lives, actually. Well done!
Father McKenna just stumbled into an entirely new world, didn't he? I actually feel sorry for Draco here. He's cast into a foreign environment, knowing just about nothing about Muggles, and is forced to create a cover for himself before he has had adequate time to prepare. I doubt that he could've come up with anything convincing anyway, having so little contact with Muggle-borns. I love how he just gave up and told the truth, and the Father's reactions to it. Drugs, apparently, or college pranks would cover it in his mind. But only for so long. I can't wait to see what happens when he begins to see more that his mind cannot compensate for. Excellent writing, Victoria!
I'd love to say that the Death Eaters can have her, and after a few minutes they'd be glad to give her back. But, we know Harry can't allow that. Moody is a bit over zealous in his protection here, isn't he? When Harry comes to, he's gonna be pissed.
The wedding was really beautiful. I loved the ceremony, and the wands binding the lovers together. Harry's desire to be bound to Ginny is so touching. He wants to be tied to someone in this world, doesn't he. Great chapter, again.
Oh, all the drama! And he was too drunk to help out! That is probably the luckiest thing that could have happened on this night. Poor Bill and Hermione! You wrote the action very well, and I agree that they started killing out of frustration at Harry's absence. Petunia is very intriguing here, with her leading comments about Snape trying to help and making it easier for them. And of course, Harry has his typical reaction. He blames himself, and believes giving himself up will end the dangers to those that he loves. Like Voldy's really going to stop being an evil git if Harry's dead. I love Ginny! Only Ginny can tell Harry he's an idiot and handle his fits of temper without batting an eyelash. Very well done.
Yay! You let Ginny be in on the secret. I always hated that JK kept her in the dark. She really could have been helpful, I think. Making her a part of the plans with the trio makes the bond between her and Harry stronger. I am thinking the letter came from Slughorn, simply because of the wording. The 'dear boy' part is what really persuaded me. I may be wrong, though. I am interested to see what Ginny's reaction to Horcruxes is. It can't be good.