2/2012: All my stories are up to date here on Gluttony :) I have another to add soon (Dorcas Meadowes and the Sin of Pride - 1943 prequel to Unwritten).
I'm a mom of two school-age children, so I write, read, & review on a catch-as-catch-can basis. I can be found regularly at TGS as a moderator. :)
Amazing one-shot, I can't believe I haven't read this before! "I’d settle with being a normal drunk salamander if it meant I wouldn’t have swooned over Teddy Lupin." Perfect. I love your characterization of Victoire, she is a well rounded character and funny as anything. I'm going to go read the sequel now!
Title inspired by the The Cliche Cafe on the HPFF forums and Amazing Banner by Blue_Suede_Shoes on SAYS. Not all romances are good, not all romances have happy endings. What happens when Ginny Weasley defects to the Dark Side? Will Harry, Ron and Hermione ever forgive her? Will her family be okay with Ginny falling in love with a Malfoy?
Diving into this story at last :) I enjoyed your depiction of the Malfoy family at home. It's nice to think of Narcissa in a peaceful moment, in canon it is clear that she is a loving mother and it's nice to see how you have filled in the blanks.
The description of Ginny is very sweet, and makes me believe the "love at first sight" angle. Pansy teasing Draco that he didn't recognize Ginny made me laugh. I wonder how long it took Pansy and Draco to move into such a close friendship. I'd be interested in hearing your version of the back story that leads up to this situation.
One thing I might do differently would be to use Draco's name in the first paragraph. The main characters are clear from the title, but it's not exactly clear that the chapter is from his point of view until the third paragraph.
You definitely have me hooked, what could possibly drive Ginny to such lengths? I have a feeling you have some fun plot twists coming ;)
I really wonder whether there is more beneath the surface of Ginny's decision to come to live with the Malfoys -- it seems like her family let her go awfully easily! And who was Harry canoodling with? I think you've given your AU Ginny a believable 'way out.' I also think it was very in character of Ginny to say that Harry hurt her, and now she is hurting him.
I have an odd little style question to finish with, I'm wondering whether a comma at the end of a sentence in quotation marks is common usage in Australia. I know that punctuation rules vary widely, especially where commas and quotation marks are concerned. Thanks for the fun and entertaining read!
I liked the "you're cute when you're angry" set up too and the reference to Draco's "Angel." The romantic parts are very nicely done, I'm glad you're giving their relationship time to unfold slowly. (it's no fun to jump right to the conclusion!)
I really liked the fear and motherly concern you showed in Narcissa, that her son may become too attached to Ginny when she is essentially a weapon. I am really intrigued by Voldemort and Lucius' possible plot to use her.
I am wondering when this is set, time-wise, and which characters are still alive; I'm assuming after book 6, though I'm not positive. You don't have to answer my questions, especially if they would give anything away... :) Thanks!
I really like how you took something small and innocuous from the books (Hermione's little spell) and gave it a lot more depth in your AU-verse.
The Draco and Pansy dynamic, as you have written it, is very comfortable and funny. It wouldn't surprise me, in a way, if Pansy were still hiding deeper feelings, and if these weren't going to mean serious trouble for Draco later on.
I wonder whether Blaise knows what the Malfoys have planned for Ginny and what will happen to her when she fails, and that's why he's so intent on getting her alone, or is he just jealous that Ginny has begun to fall for Draco? Hmmmmm...
You hit a few things on the head here...things that others have not picked up on before...so well done :) Hopefully, my writers block passes and I can finish this fic ;)
(I should have remembered Chapter 1, where you did clearly set the time span of the story, sorry about that last review!)
Draco Malfoy, the rebound love? ;) Poor Ginny, she's been all over the place in this story. I think you've done a really nice job on the romantic scenes in particular -- just the right level of detail -- Draco is being quite a gentleman, despite his clear wishes not to be.
Bellatrix' entrance at the end of the chapter takes this story past a simple romance, and hints at dire things in the future.
You know I really love AU stories, Draco/Ginny is not a pairing I have read very often but I am having a lot of fun with this one!
Welcome to my world, where Draco/Ginny rule...LOL..If I'm not writing a Dramonie, anyway ;)
I might see if I can write more of this story..I have been inspired...
I am intrigued by Draco's decision to accept sanctuary in a church, and by the beginnings of your story. It follows that Snape would be privy to esoteric research on the intersection of magic and Muggle religion.
I have a great interest in Lily and Petunia's relationship; I think you presented Petunia's reaction very nicely. The pacing in the scene with Harry and Petunia is excellent, especially how you draw in little details to keep the scene "grounded" in the room.
I may not be able to hit every chapter, but I'll try to cover quite a few in the upcoming weeks :)
Author's Response: Well, I started this story before the publication of DH and was wondering where Snape and Draco could have gone. I assumed that the Dark Lord wouldn't be very pleased with one failing to kill Dumbledore and the other one disobeying his orders and then inspiration came to me. This is based in an ancient medieval custom whereas fugitives could seek refuge in a church or monastery (and it is call the right of sanctuary) but as I mentioned in the chapter it's only for a set period of time, after that they have to flee or try or give themselves up. I thought it could make a beginning that is a bit different. Yes, I imagine Snape could know something about Muggle religion. He seems to know something about most things. Now, Lily and Petunia, well they are not the main characters here but I guess that Petunia and Snape knew each other for instance. There will be more on those three much later on. I'm so pleased that you like my scene. Thanks so so much for your lovely reviews. By all means, read what you can or what you feel like. All reviews are massively appreciated and yours was certainly encouraging. x
Snape and Slughorn have an intriguing scene. I absolutely love Snape's words with his old teacher, they had me rolling. In my reading, Slughorn has always walked that line between appeasing the Death Eaters and safeguarding against them, too cowardly to really put himself on one side or the other. I like how you have him admit to his fears, if only to himself.
I love Hermione's letter, you have her voice down to perfection.
I think you have a wonderful sense of Harry's character. His ending to the chapter, where he just chucks the difficulties of real life for a Quidditch book, is pitch perfect.
There are a few isolated typos in this chapter, but nothing serious. For example, you have a few quotation marks where apostrophes should be. Thanks for your indulgence in letting me point these minor things out to you. :)
Author's Response: Thanks sooooo much again! On the contrary, please feel free to point out errors. We all make them and I seem to mistype things a lot and fail to notice them. I'm so pleased you like my characterisation. I totally adore most of the HP characters so it's important to me to get them right or at least close. Slughorn always intrigued me a bit since he doesn't seem to play one side or the other, at least not openly. I could believe that Snape is pretty capable of intimidating him. Harry just feels completely overwhealmed by it all so yeah, read something that is escapist, best policy! I'm glad you liked Hermione's voice. Once again, thanks so much!
I'm continually floored by all the parallels between your story (which, I know, you started well in advance of Deathly Hallows' publication :) ) and the book itself. I was laughing out loud when Vernon Dursley was ogling Fleur. What would he have said if he knew she was part-human? Great humorous touch :)
I think I actually like your take on Ginny's fury at being left behind better than the book's version. I found it difficult to believe that the hot-tempered Ginny would let it go as easily as she did in the book.
There are a few tiny errors here and there (the spelling of Voldemort; some punctuation missing) and when you next do a revision, I'm sure you will catch them. Wonderful chapter, and I'll be reading along.
Author's Response: First of all, thanks so much for continuing to read and review. It's most appreciated. I wrote like mad at first because I wanted to have a clear idea as to this story as I knew that DH would influence me. I had the ending worked out before hand and various other plot devices. Now, the difficulty I have now is with the points I hadn't decided on because sometimes I can't decide whether to stay canon or depart from it. I identify a bit with Ginny and I could imagine her being rather annoyed although she won't stay mad at Harry forever. I wanted her to have been more involved in DH but I guess it might have detracted from the main plot. She will be an important player here. Thanks so much for mentioning the errors. I keep missing them! I'll take another look. I'm so pleased that you're enjoying this story so far.
I absolutely love Draco's scene with Father McKenna. It is beautifully done. Muggle and Wizarding worlds collide in such a well thought-out way. I'm intrigued at how Father McKenna and Draco, using the word "Lord," are just missing each other's point so completely. For Voldemort, organized-crime boss is actually a very good parallel.
Tiny quibbles from my inner copy editor: Your chapter image seems to be broken on this page.
In the first paragraph, you use "ok" as the last word rather than spelling out "okay." Could be a typo, or it could be an okay ;) spelling in UK English, but maybe worth checking into?
Author's Response: I often like to include a little humour in what is essentially a drama story. There is a chapter later on in which Father Sean is taken to Diagon Alley. I'm tempted to tell you more but don't want to spoil it. One of the advantages of writing fanfic is that we don't need to keep the story suitable for a younger audience; for instance, I don't think Jo could have included Muggle religion without starting up yet more controversy. I'll take a look at this image and see if I can fix it. The okay thing, well I think we use the abreviation in UK English but since various people pointed out, I started writing it in full. I'm still not sure if using the abreviation is correct or not but, as I'm in doubt, I'm now using the full word. Thanks so much again.
Another well-written and entertaining chapter. I love how Harry's point of view comes across so strongly, highlighting the things Harry would have found most important at the wedding. (food, Ginny, drink, Ginny, other guys looking at Ginny, parts of the mystery he's trying to unravel, Ginny again :) )
Ginny and Harry's romantic encounter (despite Harry's impaired condition) was funny and sweet, and I was smiling throughout the whole thing. Harry's scar was a nice touch at the end.
Author's Response: Oh, thanks so much again. I thought that the wedding had to have a wizarding element to it but yes, it's mainly written from dear Harry's point of view. He's actually a bit drunk but not as badly as he makes out, enough to get a bit of Dutch courage though. I knew those two couldn't stay apart for ever. In fact, it more or less went that way in canon too, when they kiss. The trouble I'm having with this story is that I'm trying to include a bit of everything: action, mystery, romance etc and is thretening to become the longest thing ever. I'm so pleased you enjoyed it. It is very encouraging!
Ack! You certainly chose some shocking people to kill off! (I won't say whom in the review, just in case somebody stumbles across this before reading the chapter for themselves!)
I love Hermione arguing with Moody, that is a wonderful clash of two "know-it-alls". The humor at the beginning of the chapter, even in the midst of very serious plans for action, is priceless, especially the twins. "We are tricksters, if you must know!" ;)
The battle scene is exciting and well done. (and heartbreaking :( ) One teeny typo that stood out for me, "Sectumsempra."
Petunia's past doings with Snape, that's a shocker as well! You're doing such an excellent job keeping readers on our toes.
Author's Response: I'm so glad that I'm keeping you intrigued. I planned some of the deaths before DH and I didn't get them quite right but they serve the purpose of my plot. Could you see it coming though? I thought there were slight clues but hopefully not obvious ones. I basically wanted some deaths early on (I suspected early casualties in DH) and I thought that it would be in order to make another member of the trio (other than Harry) suffer a very personal loss. Moody and Hermione, yes, I could see them clashing. In canon they don't interact so much in year 7 and I'm writing my trio here as people who regard themselves now as adults, on an equal footing with the older members. The twins are hard to write but so much fun! Thanks for pointing out the typo. As I said, I never manage to catch them all. I'll go and put that right. Petunia well... I'm not necessarily talking about Lady Chatterley's Lover here but there will be more on that backstory. I'm so pleased with your reviews. You're a star!
This was heartbreaking, and believable from a canon point of view. I also like how you drew in details from the books and created a portrait of two rarely seen characters from the books in such a short piece. Excellent job.
This is a delightful romance and an engaging read. I'm glad to see Victoire did not lose her fresh perspective on her zany extended family. I was laughing out loud through the entire thing. Bravo!
I loved this, it had such a surprise twist and the blending of Muggle/magical methods was seamless and very well done. I hope you do have more up your sleeve regarding the hapless little wizard, George Krupp. I was also very interested in the difference between zombies / Inferi, as you see it. Presumably, raising a "zombie" would be easier, and not quite so dark as raising an Inferi. I love when a story gives me a different aspect of magic to think about.
It literally had a surprise twist (ha, ha). I really toned down the Muggle/magic crossover in the sequel. Harry still has a mobile phone and a gun, but he has Muggle relations so the phone makes sense and the gun is important to the story. If I were re-writing Graverobbers, I would tone down the technology/magic crossover element a bit.
Harry calls the zombies 'Inferi,' but they're not actually either zombies or inferi; they have a snippet of personality and that makes them quite different. Inferi are just mindless puppets, very like traditional zombies. I do address this in 'Bodies at Rest'.
I'm glad you liked this story. It shows that it was something I wrote early in my HP career, but I think the plot stands up still and that's what it sounds like you liked. :)
This was marvelous and very moving. I had a difficult time finishing it through the tears in my eyes, even though it was not exactly how I imagined McGonagall reacting to Snape's murder, you have done it beautifully.
Author's Response: Thank you so much! An unexpected review like yours always makes my day. I'm pleased you found the story moving. To be honest, I have such deep feelings for the character of Snape that the days after I finished DH were very difficult for me. This story was written very quickly and was very cathartic. Thanks again for your kind words.
This story is so sad and beautifully written. It's rare that I actually have to go for the Kleenex but there you have it. ;) I love how you have depicted Remus and Tonks' marriage, without glossing over their problems. Beautiful job.
Author's Response: Awww, thank you! I'm glad you liked it! I wrote this in the aftermath of DH, still in shock over Remus' death, and I have to admit I had tears in my eyes as well while writing it. Remus and Tonks are my favorite couple and it's very flattering to hear you liked my view of their marriage. Again, thank you for your lovely review! :)
I loved this chapter. I was dying laughing at George's reaction to the bat-bogey hex. I think you've done a very realistic character treatment of Harry and Ginny, and the emotions surrounding a first pregnancy for both the prospective parents. Great job.
Author's Response: Thanks so much! I had to add George in there, and show that he's found life again. I did try to keep Harry and Ginny in character while remembering the emotions that abounded during my first adventure into parenthood. I am so glad you liked it. Thanks!
I just loved this entire story. You had me howling with laughter at so many places and you have the little indignities of pregnancy down to a T. I was almost going to look for the crystallized ginger reading it, you brought back so many memories for me!
The epilogue is a beautiful touch to end with, after all, who knows better how to cope with the pressures of being a dad than Arthur Weasley. I'm glad you didn't let Harry go to the portraits for everything, but instead to rely on his real-life extended family. :)
Author's Response: Yeah, the portraits were a sweet touch, but Harry's parents really don't know much about parenting, do they? I mean, sure, they love Harry, but they never had to discipline him for getting detention or sneaking out. They never had him get drunk on firewhiskey or steal an enchanted car, Lily and James didn't really get the opportunity to be parents. Arthur, on the other hand, totally rocks the dad thing. He seems to let Molly lead the family, but you get the feeling that not much gets past him. He's just easy going, and loves to have fun. Wonder where Fred and George got it? I had to show that Harry has plenty of back up, and a strong role model in Arthur. The pregnancy stuff was so much fun to write. Having been through it several times, I just had to do a realistic preggers fic. You see so much that is just so NOT gonna happen. I had so much fun writing this. Thanks for letting me know you appreciated it, it made my day!~GW
A new Dark Lord is here, more powerful and frightening then ever before...and Scorpius and Rose are about to fight him, along with Ha-I mean, Albus, but they have to sort out some personal issues before...
Overly-cliched little thing with no plot at all, written for the Pet-Peeve challenge over at eHPF.
I laughed my head off at this piece! Hermione marrying Draco in a knee length dress with a corset! "We'll have to wait till it's TOS compliant." I hope you did really well in that challenge, you deserve it!
Thanks! I think the challenge didn't actually have a winner - but making people laugh is the best evaluation anyway. :)
This is a little gem and I'm glad I found it! Snape's reaction at the end was a nice surprise, and it shows a lot of character development for Neville that he would face up to his "demons" in that way. Great job.
Author's Response: Thank you. I'm not really into alternate universe stuff, but I liked this challenge and this just sprang from it. I love when unresolved issues are resolved. God knows Severus had them, but this was important for Neville. I'm glad you found it a 'gem', that's a lovely compliment. Cheers!
In the deserted corridors of a near-abandoned Manor house, a broken man wanders all alone, searching for that one bright spot in his life which was mercilessly snuffed out.
What a satisfying (and unexpected) ending ;)
I had a little trouble untangling the storyline at first. I wonder whether you've thought of expanding this into a multi-chapter story and giving the shifts in time a little more space to develop. (just a suggestion)
I thought your portrayal of Draco's grief was very in-character and realistic. I also liked your portrayal of the Malfoys as a loving and happy family before Voldemort's return.
I hadn't thought about expanding this one, or breaking it into chapters. The sequel to it is rapidly getting out of control! I'm glad you found the portrayal of Draco's grief realistic. That's what I was hoping for.
I think we share similar opinions of book 4. ;) I think the first paragraph possibly needs a little bit more set-up, instead of breaking directly into Jacob's narration, but I enjoyed this very much and I'm looking forward to more.
Author's Response: Yes, the beginning gave me a lot of grief... I'll check it out and see what I can do. Thanks for pointing it out and for reviewing!
I had forgotten how touching and funny his story was: I too have always thought that the other teachers would be watching out for him. Snape would not like to be reminded, perhaps, that he would have friends if he dared to let them in.
Hermione's journal notes for, roughly, the twelve days around Christmas after the Battle at Hogwarts.
You have Hermione's voice down very well, and I think I'd like to be a fly on the wall for your version of Harry and the Malfoy's reconciliation. I enjoyed this very much -- thanks!
Well, that reconciliation started after the battle ( see my story "I owe you my life - Wizard's debt ). I imagine that Harry was true to his word and testified about Narcissa helping him and about Draco being more or less forced to do things by the death eaters, at his home and at the school.
Lucius, well, he's already been humiliated by Voldemort and Bella. He almost lost his child and wife and he's just this < > close to a nervous breakdown, so getting away from the aftermath of the battle and the trials made sense . . . spend some time at the 'beach house' and let things calm down.
Plus he's had to rethink everything he's ever believed in, in the light of his survival and maybe he's admitted to himself that he was ( not wrong- he'd never say wrong ) but misguided and mistaken, maybe. Anyhow, he'll soon be back in England and SLOWLY re-entering wizarding society and trying - with Draco's help - to re-establish the Malfoy name and social standing. ( read BIG $ contributions to restoring Hogwarts and other charities, etc. )
Glad you liked it. Thanks for the R & R.