Telco specialist, father of two. Wannabe writer since October 2008.
This must have been one of the best-kept secrets in the Universe, seeing that I managed to skip this story until now.
What we have here is a wonderful, very literately written love story, placing the reader into just the right setting.
Things are wonderful, life is beautiful, then, things, several things go awfully wrong in an unfortunate chain of events. Brilliant one-shot, wonderful imagery throughout. Perfect grammar, simply a lust for the eye.
Thanks for sharing this wonderful story with us!
Very nice "missing moment" story. I, for one, greatly enjoyed it!
Very few fics are being written with house elves in the main role. Still, their emotions are expertly conveyed by a human, a Muggle :D
Great stuff indeed.
Canon, sweet canon... Love Ron in your piece here. You perfectly picture his state of mind, his train of thoughts. Being the youngest, always having to live up expectations:
Another of those "missing moments" stories I love to read so much.
You write first person, dear Taryn, as if you haven't been doing anything else. This is simply perfect, to say the least. First person is a powerful instrument to convey emotions and you've pulled it off in a wonderful way.
Sometimes we know we have it in ourselves but we need a catalyst to bring it forth. And what an unexpected catalyst we have here!
Perfect story, perfect score, powerful writing!
I really, really enjoyed it.
PS: A twist of fate: I have recently written a one-shot on Neville and his catalyst called "What We Believe In".
OK, I have som e mixed feelings upon reading your one-shot.
I always love reading stories on the "missing moments" which had never made it to any of the books. This one is no difference and I immensely enjoyed it.
Susan is very believably written, two thumbs up for that, and Blaise in the first half is also very Slytherin. He, however, takes a U-turn as he gets disturbed by the series of killings and something makes him rethink if this is the path he wants to take. Also a very valid emotion.
At the end, the metamorphose is complete. I don't deny I was somewhat flabbergasted at the scale of this metamorphose, still, I do like happy ends.
My only criticism would be that for a one-shot there's simply too much happening. I can imagine this plot expanded into 8-10 2k-words chapters and it still would not be slow-paced at all. Too many events, too many changes before it could get boring.
Other than that, I enjoyed it very much. Nice, clean, literate writing, sealed by a powerful last sentence.
A girl lies on a field, hope dead, waiting for a star to take her to heaven.
Oh my Goodness. I'm going to go all fan girl on you, you realize that?
This was tragical and beautiful in its tragedy. For some reason, it reminded me of the end of the "big showdown scene" in "Once Upon A Time In The West", when Harmonica shoots Henry Fonda's character and he's dying, his heartbeat slows down and his breathing stops.
Totally amazing style, beautiful allegories and a couple of Kleenex tissues consumed. Bravo. Full marks. Oh my god.
oh my god, thank you so much! <3333 i got an e-mail notification and i was like, 'what?!' haha, i'd totally forgotten that i'd posted it here.
but yes, this means so much to me! D: you're far too nice. -squish-
Banner by Fantasy Dreamer at The Dark Arts.
Thank you to reallyginny for beta reading this. Your comments improve my writing immensely.
After the Battle of Hogwart's, Luna begins acting strangely. Okay, more strangely. Harry tries to help Luna with her problem, but begins to fall for her. How will Ginny react to this new Harry/Luna romance?
The first part with Harry and Molly felt like a bit of a filler in the beginning. Molly's sentence "Then you need to be brave and stand with her now" is a killer one! I loved it!
The funeral scene was slow and long enough, more of it would have been absolutely unnecessary. Here's another "dangerous" enterprise of yours, Harry/Luna. There are again relatively few fics built around this pairing, two remarkably similar persons. You are building up the process of their getting nearer gradually, in a careful way, therefore it comes over absolutely realistically. Weird, but not only Harry, but the reader as well "becomes aware of her female presence in a way he'd never been before".
Thanks for the compliment about how I'm building the H/L pairing. I've read quite a few non-canon pairings where the canon partner is just discarded without explanation and I'm not doing that with Ginny for sure.
I had help with that sentence from my beta, reallyginny; she helped immensely with the dialogue. I've never been 100% satisfied with the funeral, but I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Thanks for your compliments.
The prologue starts off directly with a battle scene, in the good old traditions of the ancient Greek drama: In medias res; right in the middle.
I don't remember ever having read any HP fic from a Dementor's POV. I was afraid first that you were walking a thin line, but taking this POV you had full artistic freedom and you perused it in a magnificent way.
We never learnt what exactly had happened with Lavender, only that she's dead.
A really daring enterprise and a very pleasant reading so far. Were it a normal chapter, it could have been somewhat longer, but it's not really necessary for a Prologue.
Thanks for the compliment on the Dementor's POV. I hoped that I did an okay job as it's going to continue in the rewrite to have more to say. I prefer to start in media res...I just like the style.
You're right that we don't know what happened to Lav. Personally, I thought she died in DH, but that's not canon. Canon doesn't say one way or the other.
Thanks for the reviews.
Our heroes are trying to live with their grief. The sphere of this chapter is, of course, sad, rather depressing; but the cloud shows its silver lightning, as we witness Harry's reconciliation with Ginny. A touching scene with Molly and Arthur, the latter coalling her by the name only he's entitled to use... wonderful bit!
Just when we feel being content, from the same cloud a monstrous lighning strikes.
The language you are using throughout is nice, yet simple, simple, yet mature and literate, a really nice reading experience.
Thank you for the compliment on my 'voice'. I've only been writing for about a year now and have only written about 100,000 words total, so I'm really only finding my voice now. In the original, my voice wasn't nearly as developed and it was immature and callow, so I'm glad it's not now.
When I came up with the concept, Ginny wasn't as involved in the ending, but as I wrote it, she forced her way more and more into the later chapters, so the bit in the garden was all-new for the re-write. It adds to the story by providing a good H/G moment to show he cares about her, too.
I've always thought that Harry was a troubled young man and probably suffered PTSD after DH.
In this chapter Harry faces many-many confrontations. First, with Hermione. Then, with his own feelings he still doesn't understand. Third, the confrontation between Dean and himself. Again, Dean is pissed because he thinks Harry is aiming - again - at his girlfriend.
Finally, the shocking discovery of the Patronuses. Dean handles the situation in a very mature way, although not without a grudge, saying his one, simple sentence before he leaves.
This is the best chapter so far.
This chapter was almost all new. Dean's reaction in the original was quite different. Something I've been doing in this fic is trying to build in parallels to reinforce certain ideas. I realised that if Harry went after Luna (and there was a Dean/Luna interest) that Harry would have stolen Dean's girl twice and I couldn't ignore that. Dean in the original was not presented as heroic until the end when what he did was presented (can't give spoilers). I'm glad that you enjoyed Dean's reaction.
The Patronus switching is also new, but I needed to go more into Patronus lore as what happened in the original version confused a lot of people, so I'm making it more clear now. It is very, very important.
I'm interested that you found this the best chapter and gratified. Thank you.
Harry will be a bit of CAPSLOCK HARRY in this fic, but there's a reason why.
Now we get a full understanding of what had happened with Harry's Patronus. It seems someone other's Patronus has changed as well.
What remains unexplained is how the two had grown together, how they actually had fallen in love. Harry was the whole year in hideout. They'd seen each other in Malfoy Manor and afterwards both spent some time at Shell Cottage, but we were not aware of any of their feelings towards each other, save the strong friendship they always felt. I hope this will be clarified in further chapters, otherwise the whole thing might not make any sense.
A very touching, lovely scene between the two. Their unbuttoning feelings for each other are depicted in a very gentle, fragile way.
You are correct that all is not explained right now. This is sort of the main point of the story--how did they become attracted? What happened to pull Luna and Harry together? I promise the answer is coming, but it will not be immediate.
I really wanted the scene with Harry and Luna mending the broken glass to parallel the scene with Harry and Ginny making breakfast, but I'm not sure if that came through.
A very strong beginning with Harry knocked out and his dream/nightmare is described in a bloody creepy, eerie way.
I had the feeling that you'd tried to cram too many events, happenings into a relatively short chapter: the wake, his row with Ron and Luna, Harry's drinking scene, the interlude with Gabrielle, the start of the attack... way too much. Unfortunately I myself am not devoid of this crime...so who am I to judge :)
Maybe splitting up this chapter into
two and expanding some of the events would make it a lighter reading.
Still a nice chapter, anyway :)
You're right, this chapter starts a lot of plot threads that need to be dealt with. The scene with Harry's vision is absolutely necessary for what happens later and was missing in the original. Gabrielle's scene was also added to explain what happens to her later.
I really wanted this chapter to illustrate that this fic was about to get dark.
Thanks for the advice to split the chapter. I might do that.
Right in the middle of a full-flavoured, R-rated action scene. That's what I call adrenaline rush!
Further, we learn about yet another of Luna's capabilities, this time a newly obtained one, as she reverses the Dementor's kiss on Ginny. Unexpected, eerie, blood-chilling. This chapter kept me at the edge of my seat.
This was my first experience with a battle scene and it's not wildly different from the original. I must admit that it's my favourite chapter that I've ever written, but I can't exactly say why.
I really, really wanted this chapter and the following chapter to be a brutal punch in the ribs.
Thanks for the reviews and compliments. Thanks also for the CC, I truly appreciate CC.
And I promise that you will understand more about how she reversed the DK, even if it will never be completely spelt out.
Finally, the long-awaited Chapter 8.
Not all darkness has gone from the worlds with Voldemort's death. Again, the good side sustained heavy losses.
Everybody, at least once in their life, has to face the consequences of choices made. Harry, saving some people's lives couldn't save others and he's haunted by these thoughts.
One thing I found pretty remarkable, his conflict with his old friend, now Minister. As it seems, Kingsley took up the customs of his predecessors too quickly.
Gio is an interesting original character and a powerful wizard. I like him a lot.
Also a big kudos for your original idea of the Patronus pin.
I can't wait to see what happens in the next chapters and I do hope it turns good for our heroes.
Your comment about facing consequences will really come home in the next two chapters, I promise.
The conflict between Kingsley is mostly due to the effect of the Dementors. This wasn't very clear in the original and I thought I made it more clear here, but I guess I still need to make it more clear.
Glad you liked Gio and the Patronus pin. Gio has an interesting history and I've been thinking about writing his story, but I don't know if I'd have time for it.
Our heroes have some tough times ahead.
Your comment about darkness makes me think of Susan Cooper's works. A lot of evil in it is from the Dark, but people also make their own evil, unrelated to pure evil. That's what I was trying to show with the separatist attack.
Fantastic. A one-way ticket for a ride on Guilt Express. As if our Harry hadn't had enough yet. A worthy continuation to your blessedly twisted story.
So, the Dementor is very much alive in Luna and it's capable of doing its deeds even while "imprisoned". One of the merits of DFK is your bravery. I have never read a story from a Dementor's POV. It has been a risky path to take but I daresay it has paid off; you created something completely new in Potterverse, something unmistakably your own.
That Patronus pin. It's a brilliant idea. The way it changes it's state several times in this chapter, only to finally destroy itself as Harry's positive emotions are reduced to nil and the feelings of guilt and despair take their place is creepy as hell.
Finally, the cliffhanger. I loves a good one! Now I'm even hungrier for the next installment. Good job!
Guilt is a big part of this, and will be explained more in the coming chapters. There's a reason that Harry's feeling so guilty and it's not just his angsty nature.
Yes, the Dementor is very active. Thanks for the compliments. I knew this would be a bit of a 'niche' story, but it was what I pictured, so I had to write it.
Yeah, the Patronus pin is new to the story with the rewrite. I felt it was necessary to show that some of the bad emotions were external rather than internal.
I'm glad you're enjoying this story and I'm sorry it took so long to update it. I've just been inspired elsewhere, I guess.
Fantastic. Simply loved how you depicted Harry's "transition period" from Ginny to Hermione. The first signs of life of a fragile, gentle, yet heartwarming feeling called "love".
JKR has admitted in an interview: "Just because someone had a view on Harry/Hermione didn't mean they weren't genuine, or that they were necessarily misguided ... Now the fact is that Hermione shares moments with Harry that Ron will never be able to participate in."
I saw this thought further expanded in your story, from canon to fanon, a transition I've been through in my writer's career as well. Being a die-hard Harry/Ginny shipper first, now I ship only Harmony. That's the proper way of things :)
Two thumbs up!
What happened to Severus when he died?
What did he see?
Who was there to greet him?
This is my take on the immediate aftermath of his death.
Very seldom a piece of fanfic can cause me a good 15 minutes of hysterical laughter. This one just has. I want to thank you for that. It was simply bloody brilliant.
That's why I wrote this, it was an unofficial challange on another site and all of the others were WAY too serious and gloomy and angst ridden. So I decided to lighten it up a bit.
Glad you got the jokes.
Thanks for the R&R.
Awarded Best Novel Length in Gluttony's Pure Indulgence Awards, 2008.
The new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher...Neville's free spirited Godmother...The love of Severus Snape's life...All the same woman?
The arrival of Anastasia Twigg-Jones at Hogwarts sets into motion a year of intrigue, revenge, laughter, secrets, love and murder that reaches into the past and impacts everyone's future.
Let's 'hang around' and watch the sparks and spells fly, shall we?
A tearful good-bye and an intriguing prologue.
It seems, no matter how big their differences are, that at least Remus understands Anna's feelings towards Severus. I WILL have to read on, that's for sure. I'm hooked.
AWH! Reconciliation with the traitor? Come on, Albus, even you can't be that optimistic :)
Nevertheless, Dumbledore is shown very much in character; as a matter of fact I wouldn't have expected from him any other behaviour. Unity is the key word, he understands that, and the DA might need any extra wand available.
Marietta's deeds can't fully be justified but were understandable, given her circumstances. Just let's hope she won't abuse the second chance she'd been given.
Forgiving Marrietta doesn't mean anything except to establish the fact that Hogwarts is the Ground Zero for second chances. Besides, this is her ( and Cho's ) 7th years, so they're not going to be around for the big battle anyway. It was just something I threw in there to get the party started.
Oh, Queen of cliffhangers and puctuation, I salute thee :)
Glad to see that DD has come to common sense and he didn't even need to be shaken until his teeth rattled :) Well, unless we don't consider the events at the Ministry a proper shake-up... So the DA is legal now, will Annabella be in charge or is it still Harry?
She seems, btw, a helluva character; probably you don't want to be at the wrong end of her wand when her favourite soccer team loses the cup on penalties LOL :)
So, she's the godmother of Neville ... I wonder if - no, she must have, so I'm sure - she was friends to Harry's parents.
Zoltan, my darling,
This is a MINOR cliffhanger, as you will learn. . . . soon.
And it's ANNA not Annabelle, and yes, she is one helluva character, but with flaws, like any normal person. She was an interesting person to develop and the story developed right along with her.
Don't be put off by any not-strictly-canon bits ( ie, Remus and Tonks are NOT an item ), just read on and enjoy.
Thanks for the review.
A chapter-long introduction of Professor Twigg-Jones, and what an introduction!
I got my answer already; she indeed knew Harry's parents, and our heroes here will have a protector around, so it seems.
I was also right in my previous review about the wrong end of her wand! Talking bipolar, huh? LOL
It will be absolutely interesting to read on and learn more about her back story with Severus. Annabelle is a complex and interesting OC and you've done an extremely good job with her. Have you had someone in mind when you created her?
Not bi-polar, just a hair-trigger BAD temper, which she does learn to contol . . . somewhat.
No, I didn't have anyone in particluar in mind when I wrote this, ANNA just came to life in my little AU.
Thanks for the R&R.
That's right, no analysis, no retelling the whole chapter again.
Simply bloody brilliant!
Awesome dialogue between Anastasia and Severus. Some light is being shed to events of 15 years ago. Methinks they'll have to keep up the facade, but hell, "the whole world is a stage..."
I HATE bloody angst, so I was determined to get their relationshop off to a roaring start and then the fun would be keeping it a secret in a place like Hogwarts, where everyone knows everyone's business - or thinks they do. I have people guessing about them through the whole story and there are a few memory charms placed when needed. ( for safety sake, not because of the knowledge, itself )
And THIS is where you should read that little one-shot of mine "That Day in DIagon Alley" as it'll all make more sense all around.
Thanks for the R&R, my darling Zoltan.
(He's hooked good now . . . I'll just let the story reel him in! *Snicker, snicker!* )
Even the chapter note in the beginning caused meto burst out in laughter. "Cristopher hanging around." Literally hanging around! LOL
So, I was right. Severus and Anna used to be close to each other, for what seems an eternity ago.
Lovely interaction between a very much living witch and her deceased husband. This chapter did make me some parallels, though. For example, one related to my fic, Shadowlands. Then another one: I constantly kept thinking about Indiana Jones. "Dr Jones! Look at this!"
Curious how on Earth one could make a moving and talking, WIZARDING portrait of a Muggle.
Read on, my dear, as all will be explained . . . eventually.
Yes, Anna and Severus were close in school but never more than friends . . . . until now.
I don't have to ask questions; you always answer them in your next chapter LOL
I've recently gotten fond of Neville as a character, so I openly enjoyed this chapter. Especially the grand entrance. It was bloody hilarious, not to mention Anna's reaction on Malfoy's remark.
Very nice, the subplot on the Longbottoms and the Muggle/Wizard medical cooperation part.
Finally, there's someone who could compensate Gryffindor for the House points taken away by Snape! HE!HE!HE!
Too hard to realize for the kids that they ARE already at war. I can hear gulps and whispers...
Oh, but it's waaay to cool to get lessons this way than from toadface. "Please copy down the text four times..." my butt! Hands-on! That's the way to learn!
I love how you're rasing Neville on a completely different new level, Auntie or not to back him up, DA did good to the boy, right? Got some self-confidence, at last.