A very cute story! You did a fine job of writing the house elves believably and your characterization of Dumbledore was excellent as well. It's always great fun when a writer adds new details to what we know from canon. Very nice work!
Huge *huggles* goes to Jessi_Rose for the wonderful banner and to Hermione006 for being the bestest Beta ever! :)
Two people fighting on opposite sides but sharing a love for each other that is so strong, that not even a war or living separate lives could tear them apart. But what happens when their love can no longer be denied?
This story is AU and is based loosely on DH, so spoilers may appear. This is a Severus/Lily story, so some dedicated James/Lily fans may not appreciate this fic.
Your story certainly adds a new element to the Severus/Lily relationship. The dichotomy of a newly-initiated Death Eater going directly from taking the Dark Mark to the arms of his Muggle-born lover was interesting, but perhaps a bit out of character for both. I'm very interested to read more, just to see where the story arc is headed.
I thought this was a particularly deft piece of writing:
“You asked the wrong question earlier. You shouldn’t have asked me if I wanted you dead.” She shook her head. “You should have asked yourself if you want me dead.”
Sent a shiver down my back...
It was a very poignant moment when Severus was forced to walk away from a sobbing Lily; the first of so many of his sacrifices.
"Her every bit of happiness was wrapped up in someone who would always have to hide his feelings or die."
A very astute observation that sums up the difficulties Severus and Lily would face as a couple. Overall this was well-written with just a few POV problems occasionally; I do hope you'll be continuing your story.
What a very satisfying ending for Snape! You have a great ear for dialog and the characterization was excellent. I enjoyed this.
This is one of the better-written fan fictions of any pairing I have ever read, with masterful use of language and descriptions and atmospheric elements. I'm overjoyed when a skilled writer fleshes out a lesser-known canon character as you've done so brilliantly with Minerva; her regret is almost palpable as is her strength and determination. I would welcome the opportunity to read anything else you've written.
Fabulous banner by Violet at SAYS! Dark times were ahead of them, a war was fast approaching, but for one young couple, they knew how to find a way to survive it and find love.
So many beautiful and eloquent moments in this story...I loved it. Fantastic story!
Oh, that was a very lovely and intimate scene between Hermione and Ron. Well done!
Author's Response: Thank you so much for reading it! I appreciate it. :o)
You write very well! I've never read a story with Charlie Weasley as a character and I'm enjoying your chararcterization of him. Looking forward to reading more!
Author's Response: Thank you.. I\'m so glad you like it so far. I have the first 8 chapters out so far, so more should be coming soon. I love writing about Charlie Weasley. :) Thanks for your review!
Oh, this was sweet and funny and a very enjoyable read. I laughed at loud at this section:
“Right then,” he said, still holding her tightly, “which room should we start in?”
Hermione pulled away and looked at him with huge eyes, “What?” she asked incredulously.
Ron laughed out right at the shocked look on her face, “Which room should we start unpacking?”
Author's Response: Thank you for another great review! I liked that little part, too, lol. Thanks again! ;o)
You packed quite a lot of atmosphere into a short one-shot. I enjoyed the counterpoint of the cold facts of physics against the more emotional and warmer details of Lily's appearance and personality. I enjoy your writing and look forward to reading more.
Author's Response: Thanks, Ginny! This one-shot is one of my favorites, so I\'m glad you enjoyed. Thank you for reviewing. : )
Absolutely loved the interaction between the Marauders! You're very good at writing natural-sounding dialog between the characters in your story and characterizations were handled nicely as well. Looking forward to an update!
I did notice one thing that confused me, though: "Look." growled Snape "He is a Marauder. Run him down and you run me and James down. If you don't like him then quit tagging after us." Was that actually Sirius speaking?
Author's Response: Ooops...yes, it was. Sorry about that.\r\n\r\nI\'m really pleased that you like this story. It was actually written way back in 2004 and (I think) I\'ve improved a lot since then. Thank you so much for your complements. I\'ll get the next chapter up as soon as possible.
Very atmospheric and a great read; I really enjoyed it!
Author's Response: Aw, thank you! This piece meant a lot to me when I wrote it, so I\'m very happy you liked it. : )\r\n\r\n-Rose
Fantastic, very funny story! I was laughing especially hard at the image of Draco in gloves cleaning a cat box. I really enjoyed this - thanks for making me smile.
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I was really shocked at the possitive feedback I received from this story. It was fun to write and I\'m happy you liked it!
A very poignant and well-written story. Interesting insights into blood loyalty and family and the deeper meaning of being a Weasley. Your characterizations of the trio were believable. The scene between Harry and Hermione was bittersweet and you managed to capture the emotional nuances of such a conversation without veering into melodrama. Nice work.
I particularly enjoyed your characterization of Molly in this piece and thought it was spot-on in even the small details: the hand-knitted outfit and the fussing over her grandchild; her intuition concerning Ginny's emotional state. It was bittersweet, but positive in the end. I enjoyed it very much.
Author's Response: Thanks so much for reviewing this story. I\'m really pleased you enjoyed it! I quite like Molly, actually, so yes, even if she was a bit mad at first when she found out Ginny was having a baby, she is glad of having him to fret about. Yes, I wanted for there to be some positive element too, otherwise this would have been just too depressing.\r\n\r\nThanks a lot!
A very sweet and engaging slice-of-life story for Hermione and Ron. I especially enjoyed the interaction between Ginny and Hermione, and Ginny's consternation at trying to keep everything secretive.
I thought this was particularly lovely:
“I couldn’t tell you when I realized that I loved you for the first time. But I can remember when I thought I would never get to tell you how I felt..."
Wonderful banner by hedwig1175
Winky's reactions upon being told about Dobby's heroic death.
I have to say, I think you probably have the most imaginative and original plots that I've read. I honestly never gave the house elves much thought, but their rallying cry, "For Dobby!" at the end of your story was quite moving. It took me a while to get into the story completely, but it flowed quite nicely towards the end. Good story.
Ginny, thanks for the review. I originally wrote this for the writer's duel on HPFF. I really, really wanted to add some Snape interaction with him allowing Winky to overhear conversations with other DE's to help her cause surreptitiously, but all the Snape characterisastions that I wrote sounded wrong. I wrote two house-elf stories in a row, with this one right after "A Stocking for Dobby". I'm grateful to hear that my plots are original. I think that might be my strength as a writer so far, with flow being my weakness.
What an endearing little story. You made me laugh, especially at the mental image of the twins trying to pee on the garden gnomes, and I also teared up a bit at the close relationship between Fred and George and the realization of what happens in Book 7. I'm still so angry at JKR over that. You did a marvelous job of capturing a slice of life in the Weasley home. I enjoyed it so much! (ReallyGinny at EHPF)
Incredible banner by hegwig1175
A mysterious potion keeps showing up on Severus Snape's doorstep.
This was a nice little story with one of my favorite elements: suffering Snape. You wrote the scenarios very plausibly with sympathy for his pain, and you nailed his snarky personality in the dialogue. I was very pleased to discover the potionmaker was Luna, as she is my second favorite HP character. I enjoyed this, and found only one thing you may want to consider changing: It is a "rap" at the door and not a "wrap."
Author's Response: Thank you so much. Yeah, \'suffering Snape\' is a lot of fun. He\'s a \'wild and crazy guy\' or \'wild and crazy git\' would be more like it. Thank you for the compliment regarding the dialogue. I\'m glad you liked that Luna was the helpful do-gooder. She\'s my second favorite character, too (Severus is obivously my first). I have some other Luna and Snape stories I wrote (they are currently on Occlumency), but I\'m thinking of transfering all my writing over to here. I will also make the change you suggested. Thank you so much for your help and compliments. Cheers!
Percy is feeling guilty about his brothers death and feels like the wrong brother was taken. What happens to him that changes his mind and gives him a sense of peace and a place in the world?
Written for the SAYS Valentines Day Fic Exchange - Writtten for ElfEars13
This was a very interesting story to read and I loved the interplay of Hermione with Percy; they are a couple I never considered before and although they did not end up together in your story, it was believable to think they might. You have a deft touch with dialogue and you write in such a way that the reader cares about the characters; I was very pleased that Percy found a woman to love at the end.
YAY! I can see you are hard at work ;)
Thank you for this review though. The prompt I recieved was for a Percy/Anyone and this is just what I came up with. I hadn't ever written Percy before, so I found it challenging and I wanted to keep Ron and Hermione together too, as I'm always making them split up, so it was just a whole change for me :)
This is certainly a different version of events compared to what we read in The Deathly Hallows. I must admit to a preference for your take on it, especially the characterization of Dumbledore as more benign and accepting of Snape's choices and grievous mistakes. He was unresonably harsh in DH and I'd like to believe he would be more understanding. I have a weakness for any story featuring the Potions Master, especiallly stories that explore the territory of his psyche and motivations. Good work - I look forward to reading more of your writing.
That was beautiful! I don't cry easily over stories, but this definitely made me well up...Fred's anguish at being separated from George was written so evocatively. And your decision to make Fred's uncles twins was absolutely the perfect touch on this lovely story. Wonderful writing and the flow was effortless. Great job!
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it, and thanks for the wonderful review!
Another wonderful chapter and so very, very true! I was laughing out loud at the stories Harry and Ginny were being fed, remembering hearing much the same thing when I was pregnant. Again, just a beautifully-written chapter that flows so easily with such natural-sounding dialogue and fantastic details. You're a very talented writer and this is by far one of my favorite stories. Oh, and I thought the delineation of the two conversations was very clear and easy to follow.
Author's Response: YAY! I struggled with this chapter, so you have no idea how much your positive feedback means to me! It seemed to keep getting more and more disjointed and large. Thank you for your sweet review! It makes me so happy to be one of your faves!
This just keeps getting better and better. I don't know how I missed the updates, but I'm so glad there's more to read. You have such a gift for evoking emotions and physical places. I could see the house so clearly and I was left with such a feeling of contentment and joy after reading this chapter. You worked your magic again.
Author's Response: This chapter was the last one that really 'came to me' like the others. I've slogged through 7 and 8, but the last one is looking promising! This one really afforded me the chance to bring in my dear old DA friends, and help edge Harry a little closer to his dream of family. And the portraits! Who could resist giving Harry a chance to visit with his mum and dad? Neville had to deliver them too, because he understands what it means to Harry to get them. I'm so glad you enjoyed it. I can't begin to tell you what your reviews mean to me.
I shouldn't have read this right before bed! I was so anxious over Ginny that I'm going to have to calm down a bit before I retire. Poor thing, having to go by Floo when she was bleeding so heavily. I really love the character of Astoria the way you've written her here. This is such a captivating story.
Author's Response: I'm glad the emotions were evident, and that you don't think I drew the drama out for too long. I love writing Asteria and Draco. I think I will return to them again in another story sometime. I really used this as a way to draw Ron back in and make him start behaving again. It usually takes some form of catastrophe to wake him up. I need him later!!! And chapter 8 is in the queue over at HPFF, but I will try to get it up over here sometime today. Now the last one is all I'm working on! Thanks so much for continuing to read!