| Login |

Name: SiriuslyPeeved (Signed) · Date: 05/05/2009 02:09 pm · Chapter: Shambles
Ack! You certainly chose some shocking people to kill off! (I won't say whom in the review, just in case somebody stumbles across this before reading the chapter for themselves!)

I love Hermione arguing with Moody, that is a wonderful clash of two "know-it-alls". The humor at the beginning of the chapter, even in the midst of very serious plans for action, is priceless, especially the twins. "We are tricksters, if you must know!" ;)

The battle scene is exciting and well done. (and heartbreaking :( ) One teeny typo that stood out for me, "Sectumsempra."

Petunia's past doings with Snape, that's a shocker as well! You're doing such an excellent job keeping readers on our toes.

Author's Response: I'm so glad that I'm keeping you intrigued. I planned some of the deaths before DH and I didn't get them quite right but they serve the purpose of my plot. Could you see it coming though? I thought there were slight clues but hopefully not obvious ones. I basically wanted some deaths early on (I suspected early casualties in DH) and I thought that it would be in order to make another member of the trio (other than Harry) suffer a very personal loss. Moody and Hermione, yes, I could see them clashing. In canon they don't interact so much in year 7 and I'm writing my trio here as people who regard themselves now as adults, on an equal footing with the older members. The twins are hard to write but so much fun! Thanks for pointing out the typo. As I said, I never manage to catch them all. I'll go and put that right. Petunia well... I'm not necessarily talking about Lady Chatterley's Lover here but there will be more on that backstory. I'm so pleased with your reviews. You're a star!

Name: SiriuslyPeeved (Signed) · Date: 05/05/2009 01:59 pm · Chapter: Ancient Lores
Another well-written and entertaining chapter. I love how Harry's point of view comes across so strongly, highlighting the things Harry would have found most important at the wedding. (food, Ginny, drink, Ginny, other guys looking at Ginny, parts of the mystery he's trying to unravel, Ginny again :) )

Ginny and Harry's romantic encounter (despite Harry's impaired condition) was funny and sweet, and I was smiling throughout the whole thing. Harry's scar was a nice touch at the end.

Author's Response: Oh, thanks so much again. I thought that the wedding had to have a wizarding element to it but yes, it's mainly written from dear Harry's point of view. He's actually a bit drunk but not as badly as he makes out, enough to get a bit of Dutch courage though. I knew those two couldn't stay apart for ever. In fact, it more or less went that way in canon too, when they kiss. The trouble I'm having with this story is that I'm trying to include a bit of everything: action, mystery, romance etc and is thretening to become the longest thing ever. I'm so pleased you enjoyed it. It is very encouraging!

Name: SiriuslyPeeved (Signed) · Date: 03/05/2009 07:34 pm · Chapter: Confession
I absolutely love Draco's scene with Father McKenna. It is beautifully done. Muggle and Wizarding worlds collide in such a well thought-out way. I'm intrigued at how Father McKenna and Draco, using the word "Lord," are just missing each other's point so completely. For Voldemort, organized-crime boss is actually a very good parallel.

Tiny quibbles from my inner copy editor: Your chapter image seems to be broken on this page.

In the first paragraph, you use "ok" as the last word rather than spelling out "okay." Could be a typo, or it could be an okay ;) spelling in UK English, but maybe worth checking into?

Author's Response: I often like to include a little humour in what is essentially a drama story. There is a chapter later on in which Father Sean is taken to Diagon Alley. I'm tempted to tell you more but don't want to spoil it. One of the advantages of writing fanfic is that we don't need to keep the story suitable for a younger audience; for instance, I don't think Jo could have included Muggle religion without starting up yet more controversy. I'll take a look at this image and see if I can fix it. The okay thing, well I think we use the abreviation in UK English but since various people pointed out, I started writing it in full. I'm still not sure if using the abreviation is correct or not but, as I'm in doubt, I'm now using the full word. Thanks so much again.

Name: SiriuslyPeeved (Signed) · Date: 03/05/2009 07:26 pm · Chapter: At the Burrow
I'm continually floored by all the parallels between your story (which, I know, you started well in advance of Deathly Hallows' publication :) ) and the book itself. I was laughing out loud when Vernon Dursley was ogling Fleur. What would he have said if he knew she was part-human? Great humorous touch :)

I think I actually like your take on Ginny's fury at being left behind better than the book's version. I found it difficult to believe that the hot-tempered Ginny would let it go as easily as she did in the book.

There are a few tiny errors here and there (the spelling of Voldemort; some punctuation missing) and when you next do a revision, I'm sure you will catch them. Wonderful chapter, and I'll be reading along.

Author's Response: First of all, thanks so much for continuing to read and review. It's most appreciated. I wrote like mad at first because I wanted to have a clear idea as to this story as I knew that DH would influence me. I had the ending worked out before hand and various other plot devices. Now, the difficulty I have now is with the points I hadn't decided on because sometimes I can't decide whether to stay canon or depart from it. I identify a bit with Ginny and I could imagine her being rather annoyed although she won't stay mad at Harry forever. I wanted her to have been more involved in DH but I guess it might have detracted from the main plot. She will be an important player here. Thanks so much for mentioning the errors. I keep missing them! I'll take another look. I'm so pleased that you're enjoying this story so far.

Name: SiriuslyPeeved (Signed) · Date: 01/05/2009 09:34 pm · Chapter: Truce
Snape and Slughorn have an intriguing scene. I absolutely love Snape's words with his old teacher, they had me rolling. In my reading, Slughorn has always walked that line between appeasing the Death Eaters and safeguarding against them, too cowardly to really put himself on one side or the other. I like how you have him admit to his fears, if only to himself.

I love Hermione's letter, you have her voice down to perfection.

I think you have a wonderful sense of Harry's character. His ending to the chapter, where he just chucks the difficulties of real life for a Quidditch book, is pitch perfect.

There are a few isolated typos in this chapter, but nothing serious. For example, you have a few quotation marks where apostrophes should be. Thanks for your indulgence in letting me point these minor things out to you. :)

Author's Response: Thanks sooooo much again! On the contrary, please feel free to point out errors. We all make them and I seem to mistype things a lot and fail to notice them. I'm so pleased you like my characterisation. I totally adore most of the HP characters so it's important to me to get them right or at least close. Slughorn always intrigued me a bit since he doesn't seem to play one side or the other, at least not openly. I could believe that Snape is pretty capable of intimidating him. Harry just feels completely overwhealmed by it all so yeah, read something that is escapist, best policy! I'm glad you liked Hermione's voice. Once again, thanks so much!

Name: SiriuslyPeeved (Signed) · Date: 01/05/2009 09:14 pm · Chapter: Sanctuary
I am intrigued by Draco's decision to accept sanctuary in a church, and by the beginnings of your story. It follows that Snape would be privy to esoteric research on the intersection of magic and Muggle religion.

I have a great interest in Lily and Petunia's relationship; I think you presented Petunia's reaction very nicely. The pacing in the scene with Harry and Petunia is excellent, especially how you draw in little details to keep the scene "grounded" in the room.

I may not be able to hit every chapter, but I'll try to cover quite a few in the upcoming weeks :)

Author's Response: Well, I started this story before the publication of DH and was wondering where Snape and Draco could have gone. I assumed that the Dark Lord wouldn't be very pleased with one failing to kill Dumbledore and the other one disobeying his orders and then inspiration came to me. This is based in an ancient medieval custom whereas fugitives could seek refuge in a church or monastery (and it is call the right of sanctuary) but as I mentioned in the chapter it's only for a set period of time, after that they have to flee or try or give themselves up. I thought it could make a beginning that is a bit different. Yes, I imagine Snape could know something about Muggle religion. He seems to know something about most things. Now, Lily and Petunia, well they are not the main characters here but I guess that Petunia and Snape knew each other for instance. There will be more on those three much later on. I'm so pleased that you like my scene. Thanks so so much for your lovely reviews. By all means, read what you can or what you feel like. All reviews are massively appreciated and yours was certainly encouraging. x

Name: morgana (Signed) · Date: 05/04/2009 03:43 pm · Chapter: Diagon Alley
I thought it would be interesting to see how Harry and Father Sean would see each other's perspective. I did think a lot about what sort of Muggle religious instruction Harry was likely to have had and that's what I came up with.

Yes, Snape and Father Sean have come across each other.

Now, I'm going to pm you to let you know that I'm going to post what I have now written, another four chapters.

Your loyalty to this story has certainly made my day. It really has! Once again, my apologies for not checking this account regularly.

Name: morgana (Signed) · Date: 05/04/2009 03:17 pm · Chapter: Blood Connections
Oh, Snape is very intelligent and very resourceful. He's obviously very upset but years of spying have taught him to put his emotions aside and get on with the task at hand.

Yeah, Ted and Andromeda are decent people but Ted is very worried about the dangers of hidding someone who is wanted by Voldemort and probably the Ministry.

I wasn't sure what to make Severus' patronus be and in the end I went for spider because the way he spins tales and well, Spinners End, I guess. Thanks so much again.

Name: morgana (Signed) · Date: 05/04/2009 03:14 pm · Chapter: "Llamas"
Oh, I really love your enthusiasm. I can't believe you have got into this story so much! I'm sooo pleased!

To be honest, I was astonished that all the Malfoys survived DH. I never expected Draco to die but Narcissa well... also what did you think of Severus?

Name: Holly Ilex (Signed) · Date: 17/12/2008 05:41 am · Chapter: Diagon Alley

Don't worry about the Jesus references . . hell, even Dumbledore couldn't walk on water!  And Harry's grasp of all things theological is a bit dodgie, huh?!?!

It was an entertaining chapter and I'm loking forward to you posting more!



HOLD IT! Stop the presses! I just realized something!

Sweet Mary, Mother of Pearl!

"Snape? McKenna had heard this name before but where? That was it, one of his parishioners had the same surname. He was a teacher, he recalled. Obviously many people must share the same surname, although this was a bit of an uncommon one."


OMG! Now you HAVE to continue the story! You CAN"T leave me hanging here!  PLEASE!!!!!!?????????? 

Name: Holly Ilex (Signed) · Date: 17/12/2008 05:32 am · Chapter: Nothing but the Truth

Putting aside, for the monent , what Harry paid for his new digs, it looks to be the perfect base for the DA. AND he can magically expand it if necessary.

NOW, about Draco and Father Sean, it looks to be a see-saw of a conversation and understanding the priest's position, I thought it absolutley hysterical! ( I'm Lutheran)  But he ( Father Sean) is intrigued and that's a positive thing, so . . .


Author's Response: Yes, that flat is definitely going to be their new base, although I'm planning of sending the trio and Ginny through a slight tour of Europe in their hunt for Horcruxes. One of them will, for instance, turn up at a Muggle auction but that's for later. I was a bit worried that the interaction between the priest and the wizarding world might prove too controversial but so far the reviews I have had in HPFF have been good in this regard. Yes, one of Father Sean's characteristics is that he can get very curious. He's also pretty open minded for a priest.

Name: Holly Ilex (Signed) · Date: 17/12/2008 05:28 am · Chapter: Truth and Dare

Well, Molly took that well, don't you think?

And Harry needs Draco's help and asks for it, with no hesitation.

Good . . about time these two got over it and started working together to bring Baldie Voldie down!


Author's Response: I restled a lot with Molly's reaction before I wrote this. She really has a go at Harry in a pretty unfair way but then she realises that she's not being fair. Yes, it could be now safely be said that Harry and Draco are co-operating, although there will always be some akwardness between them.

Name: Holly Ilex (Signed) · Date: 17/12/2008 05:24 am · Chapter: No Smoke without Fire

Okay, Draco's come clean and they've sort-of cleared the air, bloodying Draco in the process, but well, boys will be boys! In other words . . idiots!



Author's Response: Thanks so much again. Yes, I thought a fist fight would clear the air a little. It just had to happen! lol

Name: Holly Ilex (Signed) · Date: 17/12/2008 05:21 am · Chapter: A Belated Gift

Nicked it, did he?  Good old Dobby. I sincerely hope that, because you were writing this BEFORE DH, that you do not have Dobby knocked off!  If you do, I'll understand, but cut the little guy some slack and let him die at the final battle, not at the Malfoys', with a knife. . . . sounds like CLUE, doesn't it?   Dobby . .  in the Parlor . . with a knife!


Author's Response: Oh, Dobby is very loyal to Harry. Okay, no Dobby won't die in this story, at least I have not solid plans for it to happen.

Name: Holly Ilex (Signed) · Date: 17/12/2008 05:19 am · Chapter: Revelations

Meanwhile, back at the Parish house, "Tim" seems to have been getting a rather odd education, but it may prove helpful.

Oh dear, staying put doesn't sound promising, does it?  Wonder what he'd hear that would make him want to come out of hiding. . . . . anyone seen Narcissa lately?

Hummmm . . . .


Author's Response: Yes, Draco is at a loss as to what to do for the best. Odd education indeed, there will be more on him and the priest later. Narcissa, well... you may be on to something here. Thanks again. It means a lot that you are getting into this story so much.

Name: Holly Ilex (Signed) · Date: 17/12/2008 05:17 am · Chapter: Shambles

Bloody hell!

Author's Response: Yes, I wanted some action early on in the story. I was convinced anyhow before DH that something would happen at the wedding, which in a way turned out true. I also wanted one of the trio to suffer a very personal loss and for it not to be Harry, for a change.

Name: Holly Ilex (Signed) · Date: 17/12/2008 05:14 am · Chapter: Truce

Hummmm, now that's very interesting; first Slughorn dislikes Severus showing up, but then he hot foots it to the nearest church, only to be spotted by the Granger girls.  He probably surmised that if Severus was still vertical, i.e.Voldemort hadn't killed him, maybe he'd better stay on his (Severus') good side.

I thought it was funny that the first thing Harry did after reading Hermione's letter was pick up a book . .  a Quidditch book, but a book!


Author's Response: Oh, thanks so much again. Now, I started this story before DH and wrote up to chapter 14 beforehand. I have decided to continue it in the vein I originally intended so this is going to be pretty AU. Some deaths will be the same but many won't be, so Severus is alive and well for the time being. I always imagine Slughorn as someone who would go to great lengths to stay out of trouble so yes, Severus has the upper hand here. I never thought about the book that way. I guess the fact that it's a Quidditch one indicates that he is not quite in the mood to read something heavy as such.

Name: Holly Ilex (Signed) · Date: 17/12/2008 05:12 am · Chapter: Sanctuary

Well, well, well . . . isn't THIS interesting!

Petunia has some skeletons in the closet and she's about to show them all to Harry.

But will it help? Or just make things worse, psychologically, for Harry.  Hopefully, it will make it better, for both Harry and Petunia.



p.s. 3rd sentence ; it's stained glass window not glass stained window.  It's okay, but just struck me as an odd way to say that. Did you mean the windows were dirty?

Never mind, I just tripped over it and couldn't help mentioning it.

Author's Response: I'm so sorry I haven't spotted your reviews until now, I feel awful! Stained glass is the commonly known term applied to colour glass like the type usually found in Gothic cathedrals etc. Petunia does have a few secrets but they won't all come out immediately. Thanks so much for reviewing.

Name: Holly Ilex (Signed) · Date: 16/12/2008 09:28 pm · Chapter: Parallel Worlds

Now, if the boys can just drop the nonsense and TALK, we could see some progress, but it'll happen    and the sooner the better.

I want to live there, tooo. * pout, pout *


Author's Response: The boys are nearly there in terms of accepting the fact that they need one another. Draco will do something later that may surprise you. The apartment, well, I chose it personally. It exists, the price is sadly real too!

Name: Holly Ilex (Signed) · Date: 16/12/2008 08:46 pm · Chapter: In the Moon Light's Shadow

And what did he get for his "river" card?

Never mind . . I'm worried about what will happen if Percy sees Draco!

Author's Response: Tarot readings are complex and often various meanings can run parallel so not everything will seem clear straight away. Well, let's say that Draco and Percy will have an encounter later.

Name: Holly Ilex (Signed) · Date: 16/12/2008 08:23 pm · Chapter: Persuasion

Okay, let me get this straight; Snape's loyalities are still up for discussion, the 'gang' needs to break into Gringotts, Delores is STILL being a pain  and there's a book at Hogwarts that ALSO needs to be nicked.

NOT NECESSARILY IN THAT ORDER, Just think of the fun they'll have.  Let's read on, shall we, and find out how they magane!


Author's Response: Yes, they have rather a long list of "to do" things don't they, never mind hunting Horcruxes! Thanks sooo much again!

Name: Holly Ilex (Signed) · Date: 16/12/2008 07:57 pm · Chapter: Rendezvous

Where there's a "Will" , there's a way!


Go get her, Hermione!

Author's Response: Yes, Hermione is pretty determined. Harry may go mad when he finds out though. Now, what did you think of Percy and the ice castle?

Name: Holly Ilex (Signed) · Date: 16/12/2008 05:43 am · Chapter: Hogwarts Revisited

Cool . . a unicorn horn.  May come in handy - like to stab Bella?!?!?! HE!HE!HE!

Nice of Harry to include Draco at Ginny's party . . . nice party. . . wish I'd had champagne at MY 16th, but I WAS old enough when I got married  (21) to have some and it's my favorite drink! Give me a bottle, sit me in the corner and I'm a happy girl!


Author's Response: Oh, the unicorn horn... watch out for that. It will be very important. I think we have a more relaxed attitude towards alcohol in Britain, but yes, theoretically you have to be 18. Harry really wanted to make it very special for her. With Draco, well Harry is not one to hold grudges for long. He expects him to mature given the circumstances and is trying to give him a chance, even if he still doesn't like the guy much.

Name: Holly Ilex (Signed) · Date: 16/12/2008 05:02 am · Chapter: For Richer for Poorer

One of these days, Delores is going to get hers! And I want to be there Sooooo badly!


Emeralds, good choice!


Author's Response: Yes, Dolores will get her commupance and not in a very pleasant way but towards the very end... Oh, Harry is a sweet here, isn't he? I just love that boy! *rolls eyes*

Name: Holly Ilex (Signed) · Date: 16/12/2008 04:47 am · Chapter: The Shadows and the Light

Interesting turn of events, Harry taking it easy on Draco, but I think that will get the idea through to Draco that he's with the right side, now.


Author's Response: Harry is a very compassionate person, even with his enemies. Okay, in HBP he really was out to get Draco, he got almost obsessed but bear also in mind that he spared Peter's life in PoA, so I reckon that if he thinks Draco's life could be endangered by the vow, he would act like that. The interesting thing is that Draco know owes him, which is something Draco will not be comfortable with.

You must login (register) to review.