Just so much good stuff in this one! I really feel for these kids, and wondering where Malfoy is? I'm sure we'll find out.
Author's Response: Thank you! Yes, Scorpius will be making an appearance in a future chapter .... though to be honest with you, I haven't decided whether he's a friend or an antagonist. Maybe some of both. I had a really good time writing the letter from Luna, and figuring out the ways the twins would be different personalities. (Lorcan washes his hair too much...) I'm so glad you liked the new chapter.
Author's Response: Thank you! Yes, Scorpius will be making an appearance in a future chapter .... though to be honest with you, I haven't decided whether he's a friend or an antagonist. Maybe some of both. I had a really good time writing the letter from Luna, and figuring out the ways the twins would be different personalities. (Lorcan washes his hair too much...) I'm so glad you liked the new chapter.
I saw one mistake, I think: Lysander was first to be called on the Ravenclaw side. He'd flown as a kid at home... - Isn't Lysander the Gryffindor? Other than that, loved it. Wondered who else got hurt? Onward, as Holly used to say!
Author's Response: Oooops, you're right! Thanks so much, I will catch that next time I update!
Staring again at reading, just got the RSS for the new chapter. I do so love this story! Wish I'd thought to use the Scamander boys in my own works. Great touch!
Author's Response: Thanks so much! I was lucky to get a good challenge, they wouldn't have occurred to me either, but I love thinking about what Luna and Rolf would have been like as parents and how much time the kids would have spent with the Potters. I appreciate it!
Poor kid! I can see Neville being very sympathic, though! After all, it happened to him, too. The brotherly love is a nice touch, too. After reading so much other stuff with James and Albus hating each other, this is refreshing. Carry on!
Author's Response: I'm glad you liked Chapter 2! Thank you. I hope to show the Potter boys' struggles to cope with Albus's House assignment without taking the focus away from the main characters. It's a lot of fun for me to work with this set of characters without having read a lot of Next-Gen (other than yours ;) ).
I like it.
I wonder why Albus is alone and miserable, which is something new for me to read in a fic. Then again, I don't get out much...
I also like the idea of the S. twins being separated, and at this age. I wish I'd thought of that. Wondering how hard it's going to be on Lysander?
Victoire seems a bit on the b*tchy side, though. I have to think about where this is going, but then again, there are those Veela genes! Could be interesting.
I think it's off to a great start!
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it. I haven't really read that much next-gen either, so I'm hoping I'm presenting it from a fresh perspective. I'll be writing more about Albus and his struggles to adjust to being in Slytherin -- James's reaction is a little extreme, but I'm trying to stay in character for his age. This is one of those challenge pieces that might end up taking on a life of its own, and becoming a full length story... I'm having too much fun with it at present! Thanks again.
Author's Response: Thank you, I'm very glad you enjoyed it. It was a hard piece to write, and one of the few that I haven't had the itch to revise! ;) I have been asked to write chapters for Fleur, Harry, and Cedric, that is on my "probably will never get to it" list but you never know...
The theme is very original. This is the first time that I have encountered an elderly Harry in fanfic.
You ask if he is in character and in my humble opinion, he definitely is! It's also very well written. A pleasure to read really.
The line about how lucky he had been to come back from the land of the death or wherever is that we landed after the first part of the final battle was extremely touching.
Harry always had a tendency to mop and Ginny's death definitely would affect him very strongly.
I did wonder about him talking to the portraits, actually, especially Snape's. I think all the portraits are very much in character too.
I wasn't too clear as to why he makes the reference about wanting to be normal. Was it because he believes his lifespan is longer than the average wizard because of his power or because he felt compelled to write his memoires? It's probably just me being thick though.
I loved the happy ending. Yes, Harry would sulk by his family would always come first. He's someone who always manages to pull himself together in the end.
The theme of losing a love one is one I'm fond of. In fact I did the opposite in one of my one-shots and killed him off and it's written from Ginny's point of view (in pretty AU circumstances). It's just something I find emotive to write and read about.
The line when Dumbledore tells him that if that's how his life is going, he's beyond help added a refreshing touch of humour.
All in all, fantastic piece. Very well done!
Author's Response: Thank you! I appreciate the comment about "wanting to be ordinary," I may clarify that in the next round of revisions. In my mind, it came about because Harry was feeling resentful that Ginny and Ron had gone before him, and Harry was likely to live many more years. I think that one more line may be called for in that paragraph for clarity. I'm glad you liked the portrait conversations! I can picture McGonagall being the mother hen in portrait world, with Snape constantly jeering at Harry, and Neville trying to be the peacemaker. Thanks again for your wonderful review, it was helpful and encouraging!
I've always wondered about the first 12 years from Hermione Weasley's life, from her pre-Hogwarts era. This was the first story I've read on this subject, and, I need to admit, I immensely enjoyed this small detour to the past.
It's always a bit weird, catching up with people you haven't seen for 10,15,20 years. The same here. While there are million things to discuss, the real talk somehow can't kick off. Here the situation is more complex, as Hermione's attention slips and she says a tiny bit more she'd intended to say.
I have a distant, yet prominent feeling that there must have been something between Hermione and Adrian in the past you didn't want to tell. Body language speaks for thousand words.
An extra, nice addendum is the simple way of how you've framed the essence of the story between the two scenes with Olivia wishing a lemon squash. I like this method, it really emphasizes the story in the frame, just like a nice picture frame adds to the attractivity of the picture itself.
Back to the deja vu. My second fanfic - doomed to rust on my harddrive, due to obvious reasons never published - was about the Trio and Ginny in a restaurant, unexpectedly meeting the real actors playing them in the movies. The solution is 'Obliviate' there as well.
Simple, yet poignant, truly unique story you've got here! I thoroughly enjoyed it!
Zoltan
Author's Response: I did write (and cut) a section where Adrian had a "puppy love" crush on Hermione, but he hardly saw her during Hogwarts summers, and she was avoiding him because of his perceived betrayal at school. You're a perceptive reader ;) I'm very glad you liked the form of the story as well. Thanks as always for your thoughtful review. Thanks so much for your thoughtful review!
I never thought it was possible to voice the thoughts of an "inanimated object" in such a poignant way.
This fic is just about the most complete way to introduce a character we know well, and yet, we knew very little about. Viktor Krum. Bulgarian student, Star Quidditch player. Through the "eyes" of the ancient Triwizard Cup, his life, mind, sacred wishes unfold before us.
I can very well see you expanding it into a collection of one-shots, one chapter per each Champion. I'll be the first to read and review it!
A truly original fic, a very nice take on events.
Author's Response: I'm so pleased that you enjoyed it so much. I definitely didn't have the intention of writing more than one chapter, since this was a challenge piece, but I may put it on my list! Cedric and Fleur don't get that much in-depth treatment in the books, and of course the chapter on Harry would be the Cup Confunded, and that might be entertaining in itself.... Thank you for the review!
Author's Response: So happy you enjoyed it. Thanks for the review :)
That was REALLY intriguing . . and I hope there will be a follow-up story about "What Ever Happened To Victor Krum" HINT! HINT!
ANYWAY, it was a special, unusual perspective from an extraordinarily magical object. Bravo! Excellent!
I liked it . . .can you tell?
HE!HE!HE!
Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it! I noticed that this is so far the only story on this site featuring Viktor Krum in a starring role. I may have to add him to my plot bunnies list. ;) I think he turned out pretty happy in canon, eventually. I liked writing the "character" of the Cup, it was a mind-opening experience to write from the perspective of an object that has been locked in a trunk since 1792. (or thereabouts)
I love the scenes of Viktor's life: you convey so much with a few precious detials. There are no wasted words here, and each memory lends Viktor's character great depth.
I also love the last paragraph. It is a perfect ending to this piece, which has been a wonderful read. Good job!
BB
Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it! I have to admit I was a little daunted by the assignment at first (hehe) but it was a good writing exercise. I have rarely had a one-shot turn out to be so hard to complete. I hope we have more fun entries to read in your challenge!
Author's Response: Thank you! I definitely had a female version of Q (who resembles Luna Lovegood) in the back of my mind when writing about Mabel. More about her will be revealed in Chapter 3. I'm so glad you enjoyed it!
I found Hermione and Ginny a bit over-reacting, by the way. They know bloody well that their husbands are Aurors; this is a dangerous job without any doubt but this is they are good at, so in my opinion the women have to accept it. Ginny Crucioing Harry for simply doing his job is a wee bit beyond limits.
Loved the small subplot on Ginny and Harry losing their baby, it was very touching, very sad.
Who am I to criticise native English speakers :) yet, I have to make a small remark. Some of the comma's you're using might be unnecessary. Ex:
"Ron's ears colored, and he sank down to the stone step once more." I'm pretty sure no comma is needed here.
Absolutely brilliant, yet again. Please let me know when you update!
Cheers,
Zoltan
Author's Response: Thank you for the constructive criticism, I appreciate it! Commas are not my strong point, I'll take a look at them. :) I also appreciate your perspective on Hermione and Ginny's reaction to the previous mission going bad. I'll be sure to include more background on why they reacted so strongly. I have a whole back story planned in that area. Thanks again, your review will be very helpful to me going forward!
Amazing characterization of the Golden Quartet, right in the very first chapter. I felt as if I was reading Book 8: Harry Potter and the Woes of Family Life, written by JKR self. Simply hilarious.
I loved to see how closely you tried to stick to canon. In my opinion, one must write either "canon" or "fanon". Anything like "well, I try a bit of this, a bit of that and see what happens" is not my type of writing.
This one, I enjoyed right from the beginning. Simply bloody brilliant.
Author's Response: Thank you for your kind words! It's been quite a challenge to stay "within the lines." I'm glad it's working out so far.
"Unlike Luna Lovegood, Mabel Jenks was a full-time resident of Planet Earth." That line alone is priceless . . I just wish I'D thought of it!
Arthur, Arthur, Arthur . . what a well meaning chuckle-head . . . bless his heart.
Okay, off the left coast!
Author's Response: I love Arthur Weasley. I'd steal him from Molly if she wouldn't do a Bellatrix on me.
This is going to be a double edged story isn't it? The danger and seriouness of the missing wizards and all that entails opposite RON WEASLEY LOOSE IN CALIFORNIA!!!!!!!
Have you gone completely insane?!
Hope so,as that maens we're in for a GREAT story - as usual!
ONWARD!
Author's Response: I'm really glad you like it! It's been great fun to write. Thank you as always for being such a faithful reader & reviewer. You're the best. :)
Author's Response: I'm so pleased you enjoyed it.... thank you for your extremely kind comments! (blushing here)
Author's Response: I'm so glad you liked it! It was a lot of fun to write.
Handy little spell, ' Obliviate '.
SO, it looks like the park across from 12 Grimmauld Place has been spruced up a bit in the intervening 10 years. Maybe having a famous wizard in the neighborhood has raised the propeerty values. Or at least gotten the local Improvement Association to get to work to bring the area into the 21st century.
Haven't thought much about Hermione's life pre Hogwarts, but youmade it sound totally plasuible that she was just the was Adrian remembered.
Good one-shot.
Author's Response: Thank you! I hoped I was hitting Ron and Hermione's dynamic just right, they're my favorite. I have some trouble with Harry and Ginny's adult relationship, but I hope to work through my problems in the writing process. I have often thought that Ron would be more popular than Harry at the Ministry, since he has such an easy way with people. I have a lot of fun planned for future chapters! Glad you liked it!
OMGosh! I'm so intrigued by this story already. I love that you've kept it canon, at first when I saw that Ron & Harry were going to Hollywood to see an actress it would be AU, but so far it's not, and that makes me so happy. I loved that you had Neville join them as an Auror, he certainly is capable of it. I loved the wager, and Hermione blurting out that she's pregnant, lol. That would help to explain some of the irrationality going on with her. I can't wait to see more of this story!
One thing, Percy isn't the next-oldest Weasley son, he's the third.
Author's Response: Whoops, how could I forget Fred and George? Thanks for pointing that out to me, ginwannabe, I'll fix it ASAP. I really appreciate that you took the time to review! I hope to have another chapter ready before too long.
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