Got to love those 'plot Bunnies'

looking forward to more

Interesting and very readable, but there are several things I had problems with.

Dylan's boasting introduces an assumed plot element that never materializes. These are details we don't need.

It's very interesting and highly possible that Hermione might take a part time job in the Muggle world, were she inbetween jobs in the Magical world. I don't see her abandoning the latter, though. Ron's reaction is plausible as well, and well-handled.

I had a problem with why Hermione, Ron, and Draco are at the Castle. Picking up their kids instead of letting them take the train home? Why? And why go to Kings Cross, only to meet up with Draco there? Why is he there? We learn a few paragraphs too late that school's out.

Draco's softer side coming out as it did is a great way to introduce him into civil conversation and a pending relationship with Hermione, but to be honest, I've always felt that you can rush that into a one-shot story. Draco came on too hard and fast here and wasn't believable with his "pick up line."

But, as you said this was a first attempt, you've got all the makings for a long story to resolve the dangling issues here. This could very well be touched up and used as a great first chapter for something longer. I enjoyed the plot, with Ron being angry and Draco being jilted by his wife.

DO consider expanding on this, because it's got great possibilities.