Gluttony: Fanfiction :: Indulge Yourself!

Name: celticbard (Anonymous) · Date: 16/08/2009 11:48 pm · Chapter: Rising From The Ashes

Hey Eridanus!
It's celticbard from TGS, here to review as requested. ^_^

First off, congrats on writing your first 2nd person POV fic. You did an absolutely amazing job with it. I'm honestly too scared to even attempt the 2nd person. You should be very proud of yourself for pulling it off so effortlessly. ^_^

This one-shot was so "cuddly", not exactly fluffy, but sweet enough to give me a wonderful warm feeling inside. Rose's hesitation to admit her feelings for Teddy reminded me a bit of mother in HBP when faced with Ron and Lavender. I also really loved the hospital setting. It made this fic unique and set it apart from the many tired cliches.

Teddy was just as lovable as his leading lady. Although he spends only a little time on screen, I still got a strong sense of his character through Rose's internal dialogue.

The only thing (or character, rather) I would have liked to see more of is Healer Weaver. I know this is a Teddy/Rose story, but I would just love to hear some of the details of his relationship with Healer Weasley. That's certainly not a complaint, however. ;)

Thanks so much for giving me the opportunity to read this fic, Eridanus. Please feel free to drop by my queue and request another review anytime. I hope you have a lovely week!

Best,
celticbard

Author's Response: Hello, celtic! Thanks so much for taking the time to stop by! Thank you very much. It was a really interesting experience, and another learning curve for me, so I'm glad that you enjoyed it. I don't doubt that yours would be wonderful if you attempted it XD. It is a little fluffy, but it's only really the end that does it, lol. Cuddly is a very nice word for it! Rose's characterisation was something I thought about quite a lot, and although I didn't see that parallel it really fits in with how I wanted her to be similar to her mother in some respects. This was my first go at writing 'adult' next gen, so I'm really pleased that you liked where I set the story. Hahaha, I'm glad you liked him! Mainly because I'm a bot of a horrific fangirl myself... Thank you so much for voicing your opinion on that. I may try and develop that aspect of the story a little, if I can, as it may be something the readers want. Hearing your opinion on this has been invaluable. And thank you so much for reading and reviewing! It is very much appreciated ^_^. Eridanus

Name: violetlily (Signed) · Date: 05/08/2009 12:20 am · Chapter: Rising From The Ashes

Oh wow, I love this. :D The ending was my favourite part because it's just so perfect, how she ran into him and how he came back for her. *romantic sigh* I needed a story like this to make me feel better, and it did, so thanks for that Jane. ^_^

The writing is excellent - you carried the 2nd person thought without slipping, which isn't easy, especially with the present tense thrown in as well. The 2nd person did make this more interesting to read, though I can see that it wouldn't take too much to switch it to 1st person, if you really wanted to. But the 2nd person does have a more artful touch to it.

Your Rose and Teddy are really well-charaterized. I love how Teddy is a lot like Remus - a little hesitant, yet also annoying in knowing that he's right. Then Rose was a perfect combination of Ron and Hermione - I can see her becoming a Healer, something that would impress both of her parents. :D

I've been meaning to read this for a while, and I'm sorry that I waited as long as I did! It's wonderful that you wrote this ship and wrote it so well. ^_^

Author's Response:
Shall I squee now or later? It doesn't really matter because I've squeed a lot already XD! I'm really pleased that you enjoyed this and with the reception it's getting in general. I toyed with a sad ending, because they generally make more of an impact, but I just couldn't do it. It wasn't destined to be depressing, and I'm glad that it cheered you up ^_^.
-blushes- I can't thank you enough for your comments, so I'll just thank you again! I was very nervous about working with second person, but I ended up enjoying it immensely. I didn't really think about using past or present either, the present tense just sort of flowed out, lol. Marina and I discussed the switch to adapt it for another website, but I decided just to leave it the way it is and keep my fingers crossed. I also felt that the second person was almost the essence of the story and I don't really want to give it up! I think it's found a nice home at Gluttony, though.
That's probably because I am a complete Remus lover... Do I sense that you're one too? Lol, my affection for Remus shifted to Teddy quite a bit once next gen appeared and I absolutely adore both of them. I'm glad that you think I managed to capture a bit of the essence of their parents in their characters. I wasn't trying to go for total copies, just something believable and although exhibiting their parents traits, themselves. Teddy is such a Remus though XD, lol.
I'm just thrilled that you read it at all and enjoyed it. Your compliments inflate my ego far too much... Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review! Nice name, by the way, lol.

Name: Kaityb (Anonymous) · Date: 04/08/2009 03:58 am · Chapter: Rising From The Ashes

Hello my dear its Kaityb here from TGS for your review :)

WOW! This was amazing. I am consistently becoming more and more of a fan of stories written in second person/present tense and this was no exception.

Your writing style is beautiful and I rarely found myself noticing the word 'you'. Often this is where authors slip up in second tense - they use it too much and as a result a story that had a lot of potential can be completely ruined.

I loved the way your wrote Rose, she was so believable and thankfully not a carbon copy of her mother.

In all I thought this was just a beautiful peice of work and you did so so well! You should really be proud of yourself. I know the challenge was such a difficult one, and you have really pulled it off :)

Author's Response:
Hey, Kaity! Welcome to Gluttony, lol
Thank you so very much! I adore reading second person stories, there are a lot of fabulous ones out there, and that's probably why I was so intimidated by the idea of writing one myself. I agree with you there, but sometimes the reader can become very perplexed by the idea that the 'you' isn't them. I'm so happy that you don't think that I emphasised it too much or made it seem like the reader was the 'you' without making it awkward.
Again, thank you! We don't see a lot of Rose, but I already feel like she is one of the most real characters I have written so far. There's a lot to her, not all of it that is very obvious, but I just loved writing her and I felt that she really could be this way. I wanted to do something a bit original with her character and I hope that I managed that.
You flatter me far too much, but I can't thank you enough for all of your compliments. This review means a lot to me ^_^.

Name: filchlvr (Anonymous) · Date: 03/08/2009 07:17 pm · Chapter: Rising From The Ashes

Omg! This is my favourite one shot ever. You have a gorgeous style, a brave choice of narrative or whatever you call it and the most enchanting plot. Flawless. Its a bit like melting chocolate, delicious and tasty. And that last line is to die for. Made me all chokey and teary. The perfect way to end the piece and i am so so jealous of your talent.

X x x

Author's Response: filchlvr, I'm blushing from all of your wonderful praise! You're definitely well versed in your literary terms ;). And I love chocolate a lot, so that comparison you made just means all the more to me. Thank you very much, endings are always difficult to write and to hear that you liked this is fantastic. I wish I could read something of yours in return filchy, I'm sure that you're a great writer! Thank you very much for taking the time to read and review! ^_^

Name: Leslie (Anonymous) · Date: 03/08/2009 05:11 pm · Chapter: Rising From The Ashes

Hey, Leslie from TGS here to review as requested. I thought this was well-written, especially since this is the first time you've written something in second person. And second person is quite difficult to write, I prefer to read second person as I don't much fancy writing in it at all. But I think you did really well, and the characterizations were pretty much on point and flowed well within the story. Great job ;)10/10

Author's Response: Hey, Leslie ^_^. thank you very much for your compliments! I'm especially glad that you thought that I did well with second person. It's actually wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. I was very nervous about it, but once I got into the flow of it I really began to enjoy it. Thanks so much for reviewing, Leslie! I'm thrilled that you enjoyed it.

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