Very intense, and well done with emotional capture. I'm sure you must have gotten high marks for this one in your class? The heroine's anguish is almost literally palpable, and one is drawn into the scene of chaos as they flee the club. Later, alone with only the gun, we feel as if we, too, have come full circle with the characters. Even more emotional when listening to this version of the song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vEOZLQ3d1FI

Hi Kristen! It's Molly from TGS, here with your review for the Review Exchange!

Anyway, let me just say that this story exceeded my expectations. In fact, it went above and beyond them. It was beautiful. It was lyrical. And I loved the romance between Armand and Vivenne; at some parts, it reminded me of 'Atonement', yet this is clearly your own work. Very fresh, very original. I liked it!

As far as your description goes, as always, it was fantastic. I loved how you began by describing the tune the band was playing - I could practically hear the music! You set up a nice, cozy atmosphere and then ripped us out of it very jarringly when the bombing began. I found it to be very accurate and realistic to how the people who experienced it might've felt. For some reason, the description that stuck out to me the most was the way you described Armand's appearance. He seemed so real, so corporeal. It was very strange, but wonderful at the same time. 

If you couldn't tell, I really enjoyed this story. From the description to the dialogue to the perfect characterisations to the tragic ending. It was all very fitting and supremely beautiful. You have a gift, Kristen, a very obvious gift and I hope you continue to use it! 

Hello lovely!

First off, I usually write much longer reviews, but I usually am not swamped with assignments :( Excuse me for these two weeks, once it hits April I will be back to my usual self.


Description - I really liked your use of description here. I thought it was quite simply beautiful, so beautiful in fact I thought it complimented the flow very very well. I felt entranced by your style throughout this so you definitely won me over there.

Characterisations - I also really enjoyed your characterisations here. I thought that they were not too overpowering but complementary of the story if that makes sense.

I really enjoyed this, well done lovely!!!

10/10

xxxx

Hi Kristen!

I think I mentioned that I've never reviewed OF before so will do my best for you but I'm not sure it'll be as good as my FF reviews are simply as it's untouched territory for me :P

I should start by saying that I love the era you chose to set this in. WWII and Vichy France is such an interesting time period - one of my favourites - and so you pretty much already had me falling at your feet once I'd read the dates involved.

In terms of the plot - er, wow? I absolutely love the way you ordered it, actually. I'd have completely messed it up if I was doing it with weird flashbacks all over the place but this way is so simple and so wonderfully effective. The one flashback was brilliantly incorporated with the rest of it and it just completely supported the emotional progression throughout the story.

Went off on a bit of a tangent there - sorry! The plot itself had me from the word go. I loved how the past of the two characters didn't come in until later and yet how you managed to make me feel so attached to both of them from the start. I'm completely in awe of that.

I completely did not expect that ending either. Maybe looking back on it, I should have seen it but even up until the end of the flashback, I hadn't even thought about it being an option. It was so heart-wrenching and tactfully, beautifully written.

In terms of believability - it's my favourite word to apply to almost anything I review and that's no different here. I think what made it the end so heart-breaking was the fact that it was so believable and so easy to admire and like the characters.

Dialogue - I saw no problems. It was very fitting for the era and I loved the way you incorporated the French into it, I really did.

Just a note on your description: oh how I wish I could write it as beautifully as you can - it's poetic without being flowery and over the top. It's actually perfect.

I hope this is kind of what you were after! I absolutely love it, Kristen, really.

♥

xx

Kristen, this was so completely stunning! The descriptions, the plot, your style... beautiful and the ending was so sad! Wonderful job, I'll look forward to reading more from you soon :)

- Marina

Author's Response:

MARINA! THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!! I'm so glad you liked it; plus, I got a new story up lol. AH! Thank you!!!!

Hi Kristen! I absolutely adored this story for a few reasons.  I think you wrote it beautifully and the language fit well with the time period.  I also really love how you used French phrases throughout the story.

Plot-  I think you did a wonderful job of putting so much into a short story.  The scenes and letter described the relationship between Armand and Vivienne perfectly.  Nothing else was needed.  Those were pivotal moments in their relationship and that's all the reader needed to understand that Vivienne depended on Armand and was lost without him.  I loved the letter, by the way.  I really love when people include letters into their stories because they're directed at other characters, not the reader.  They add such a raw emotion that narration can't do.

Characterization-  I think you characterized Armand and Vivienne quite well.  The dance scene gave a good insight into both of their characters, especially Armand.  I loved the fact that he didn't want to dance because he couldn't.  It was just so adorable.  The flashback in particular characterized Vivienne quite well.  I wasn't at all surprised by the ending after reading that flashback.

Dialogue-  I think you included just the right amount of dialogue.  This story didn't seem to need very much, so it was a good amount.  As I mentioned earlier, the dialogue fit well with the time period. 

Again, I really enjoyed this!  Great job! :)

This was an absolutely stunning piece, Kristen!  The atmosphere, the words - I was dragged into Vivienne's head, and the ending...I didn't see it coming.  I mean, I figured HE would die, but not her...

 

I'm not very good at forming coherent sentences after reading stories like this, but I thought I'd mention just something I noticed at the beginning - the way Armand sounds... well, his speech sounds like it's French.  You know how French people have that particular way of saying things?  I'm probably just being silly, but I thought it was amazing.  I've lived in France (not for long, but I'm still going to claim it) and this was just stunningly real.  There was nothing to make you remember that this wasn't non-fiction, or at least completely and utterly real.

 

The emotions were amazing - the way you captured her despair was perfect.  And the flashback at the end told so much.  All 2k of it told so much - you're absolutely amazing, and I'll have to read more of your work soon!

 

- Emma

Author's Response:

Thank you, Emma!! This review made me smile so much, and really, I'm really sorry it has taken so long to respond back :(. Real life has been busybusybusy. Wow, thank you! Yeah, she would die...she didn't have the strength to carry on without Him. Armand was the bond that held her together. And no, you're most certainly not being silly! That was my goal and I'm so happy you thought he really did sound French! I loved writing Armand, especially in the dinner scene. That is such a huge compliment and again, I want to hug you. Thank you so much Emma!

Oh.my.God. 

These were the first coherent words I managed after reading this wonderful story of yours. Amazing imagery, wonderfully flowing text, a real treat for the reader who gets a genuine feeling as if he were immersed in the atmosphere of the forties.

It's just immensely sad.

Bravo.

Author's Response:

OH MY GOD! Really, thank you so, so much for this fantastic review! It has seriously made my morning. *hugs* I am so happy you liked it!