Honestly, I didn't like the movie, but I will read everything that brings Harry and Hermione together.
I think this is a very good start to the story and a fairly good introduction to your original character. That's a very important thing and you pulled it off perfectly. I can see her in front of my eyes, you visualized her that much.
Onto the nitpicking thing. There are a few minor language issues in the chapter text. Capitalizing "Mum", "Dad" and other family members is fine, but I would decapitalize colours, "Birthday", "Reception" and "Wedding Singer".
Your closing sentence would be more effective written like this:
And that day - like I said - will be soon…
It carries the foreclosure of something grand to happen. Try to read it aloud, putting a brief pause at the hyphens. Different, ain't it???
Like I said, a very promising start and I will be looking forward to more. Good job!
PS. Just one tiny remark. How very interesting that you and I both chose Lily as the name of Hermione and Harry's daughter. See my story "Shadowlands" here.
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